No one will fight me!
Tonight my youngest son and I decided to visit the closest of the two Chick Fil-A in Massachusetts at the Burlington Mall.
We got there around 6 p.m.
When we arrived the first thing I noticed was the relative lack of customers at the other establishments compared to Chick-Fil-A
The second thing I noticed were three members of the local police department in the food court, specifically in front of the Chick-Fil-A (The Quiznois is next to it)
I approached them and asked if there had been any trouble, they answered that it was merely Friday night and it was routine to have police in the mall late on a Friday. I gave them my card and thanked them and headed to the counter when I spotted the owner of this Chick-Fil-A (he looked VERY young, or maybe I’m just old).
Although he choose not to be interviewed he did tell me that business had been generally up since the start of the protests.
My son and I then got in line to order at this point mall security approached me.
They informed me that members of the press were not allowed and that no interviews and pictures could be taken, I told them I had already taken three but I would of course respect their wishers as I was on private property. As a demonstration of good will I removed the batteries from my camera.
Unfortunately at this point the line at the Chick-Fil-A got much longer so we had to wait a bit to order. Both of us had the spicy chicken sandwich. I had the lemonade and he had Dr. Pepper. I ordered some food for the Radio show tomorrow (and a $10 gift card to give away!) and we sat down to eat.
I found the sandwich better than the last time, likely because unlike Nashua I ate the spicy sandwich at once but in fairness I still think the Wendy’s spicy Chicken slightly edges it on taste.
The Lemonade was however the best anywhere, the owner kindly brought me a re-fill as well and I noticed he took the time to talk to many customers. He seemed really on the ball.
I noticed a pair of ladies sitting three tables away, they were heavy tattooed and seemed to get more and more angry as the lines at the Chick-Fil-A continued to grow. As we ate I noticed a collection of people making a point to pass by observing, they were invariably pierced and seemed to grow nervous as they watched security and security watched them back.
Meanwhile as I finished my food and my son took off to Gamestop I ran into a fellow from Mass Resistance, we had a pleasant chat. He noted the place was absolutely mobbed on Wednesday. As he was not identified as media he was planning to stay. I also called Karen at the Lonely Conservative, Smitty and Bill Jacobson to report what I had seen so far.
Around 7:15 p.m. after my son got back security approached me again asking me to leave. They said I had carried myself as a gentlemen but they really couldn’t allow me to stay as I had finished my meal and other press had not been allowed. We shook hands and my son and I decided to do one lap in the mall. As we left the food court I noted two tables just outside the area. There were about 30 people in them and I noted they and security were keeping a close eye on each other. I surmised they were planning to launch their protest before or at 8. As we walked the mall I told my son:
“If I were them I’d have a small disturbance at the other end of the mall to draw away security and then make my move before the scheduled 8 p.m. time.”
As we completed our lap and neared the food court by the escalator that we came in from I noted a security guard leaving the area, it was about 7:45 when suddenly a chant came out: “Hey Hey , ho ho, Homophobia has got to go.” I also noted people with signs duct taped to their chest with a single with page calling Chick-Fil-A “hate chicken”. They were quickly surrounded by security at this point and continued chanting as they were escorted from the mall.
I had a dilemma, I had given my word to the mall folks not to take pictures (although the protesters were) so being the shy withdrawn type I lifted up my Chick-Fil-A bag with tomorrow’s food in it and started chanting back.
“Hey hey , ho ho, Christophobia has got to go.”
For some odd reason this expression of the same first amendment rights they were exercising didn’t sit will with them.
At this point my son and I started exiting the mall, I did a loop around the place to see if we could find where they had been booted out. As I didn’t spot them and had to be up early I started heading for 128.
Although tempted to do a Stacy McCain and attempt a U turn through traffic I hit the highway and looped back at around 80 or so. within 14 min (8:15) I arrived at the parking lot, got out of the car and while my son went to check Barnes and nobile I approached the protesters.
They were still not happy to see me.
In fact they attempted to block me from taking pictures.
Oddly enough they seemed to have no problem giving interviews to others
This was passing strange, I was a single person, outnumbered at least 10-1. They had protested publicly and in fact were seeking attention yet for some reason they were unwilling to answer my questions.
I couldn’t understand, after all didn’t they believe in what they had said? Could it be in the state that fathered gay marriage the brave denouncers of “bigots” could not formulate an answer to any question not spoon fed?
I pondered the question;
YES: they had only drawn 30 people at a huge mall close to Boston in the state where Gay Marriage was supposedly the strongest.
YES: more people had eaten at Chick-Fil-A in 10 minutes than they had been able to draw.
YES: the weakness of their movement compared to the hundreds of thousands who showed up on Wednesday was apparent.
YES: they weren’t used to tough questions…
…but surely this could not be the reason why I scared them so Surely this alone could not cause these brave protesters to flee before a single blogger with a camera?
Then it hit me. I remembered all the people i had seen that evening near the protesters. There WAS one unique difference between me and all the others. I was the only person in the entire area, both at the mall and at the parking lot who approached them in a Fedora!
As I left for home with my son and our Chick-Fil-A I felt sorry for these poor people. First the scourge of AIDS had decimated the gay community 30 years ago, and now a new malady had reared it’s ugly head, a malady confined to the brave protesters undaunted by their poor numbers and inability to get live media coverage in the mall. A malady called Fedoraphobia!
What a shame, if it hadn’t been for fedoraphobia, these brave protesters could have managed a 3 minute interview and had the chance to make their points and my work would have been done. Instead Fedora phobia caused them to run away like Sir Robin before the three headed giant.
Worse of all it had been caught on camera. And all those who would see it would think it cowardice when in reality they had been struck by a new and horrible illness of which there is no known cure.
Oh the AGONY!
Update: Instalanche. Thanks Glenn for taking steps to combat the dread disease of Fedoraphobia. BTW for comparative purposes here is a video from Wednesday of the line at Chick-Fil-A
Update 2: No signs of Fedoraphobia nationwide but it looks like the Chick-Fil-A protests nationally laid an egg, or at least would have if there were more people and not advocating a lifestyle that doesn’t produce eggs.
The DaTechguy fundraiser is still in progress, yes I would like you to kick in so I can use a car of my own on these trips but now there is a greater cause. To my knowledge no person is now researching the dreaded disease striking pro-gay marriage protesters known as Fedoraphobia. Won’t you give generously so I can continue to approach such people in the hopes of finding a cure?
Remember if you’re a protester an on-camera interview is a terrible thing to waste!
For details click here for the progress check the thermometer to the right and to kick in hit DaTipJar”.