by Datechguy | September 7th, 2012
If you want to know what people do when they have too much time on their hands, now you know
Earlier today someone asked the question, In a mass knife fight to the death between every American President, who would win and why? Someone beat me to the obvious answer that a final showdown would see Andrew Jackson, Abraham Lincoln, and Teddy Roosevelt doing a dagger-wielding version of a Mexican standoff, so I took it too far and walked through how I thought every president would turn out. An hour later the result greatly exceeded the maximum 10,000 character limit for a post, so I’ve decided to blog about it instead.:
It’s a weird bit a fun but a few things missed:
James Monroe served in the Revolution, he would be no pushover.
JQ Adams killer face not withstanding wouldn’t last
Lincoln was no warrior that he ranks him so high is weird
I say Jackson wins this fight, but Washington, Ike, Harry & Teddy should not be discounted.
[...] [...]
And, yeah, I suspect both Washington and U.S. Grant would last longer than he thinks. McKinley was also a Civil War vet.
I suspect he’s basing Lincoln on Lincoln’s experience in the Black Hawk War and the time in his early life he worked as a keelboatman on the Mississippi River, where I suspect he had a knife fight or two.
Or he just watched “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter”.
… and Obama? Dead within the first ten seconds, or as long as it would take Bill Clinton to throw the knife through Obama’s back.
I love Lincoln, but I wouldn’t put any assassinated Presidents as the winner of a knife fight.
My winner? Reagan. Forget bringing a gun; he would bring a nuke.