by Roxeanne De Luca | January 29th, 2013
A friend’s daughter recently started at a highly regarded boarding school. When her mother asked how she was enjoying the mixed-sex environment, the girl said quietly: “You have to give the boys oral sex or they get cross.” Reeling with shock, the mum protested that her darling daughter did not have to do anything of the sort. “Oh yes you do,” replied the girl. “And you have to shave down there or the boys don’t like it.”
That’s just a sample. There’s also:
Only last week, we heard the awful story of Chevonea Kendall-Bryan, who fell to her death after pleading with a boy on the pavement below to erase the recording of her performing a sex act on him. “How much can I handle? HONESTLY. I beg you, delete that,” texted Chevonea. She was 13.
The author of this article, Allison Pearson, talks a lot about the porn culture and the ready access to a “virtual world” (online, texting, etc.). But she misses the point. We could have thrown mobile phones at women in the 1860s, but no man would have dared to ask a lady to perform fellatio on him, because her dad would shoot him. As in, dual to the death, all members of her family lined up to protest the treatment of their sister. (I will note that some very backwards countries shoot the wronged woman, not the offending man.)
This is a sexual revolution issue. Once we started saying that promiscuity is empowering, that sexual experimentation is fun for women, that pregnancy is the only obstacle a woman faces in intimate acts, we gave young men license to treat young women like unpaid prostitutes. (Actually, worse – a man might understand if a prostitute said that she was off-duty for the night.)
The leaders of the sexual revolution – courted by men brought up with different standards than the ones espoused by the likes of Steinem – had it good. But their legacy to my generation, and the generation behind me, is men brought up to believe that only a repressed woman does not put out, that sex is their right, and that there is nothing emotional that happens to a woman when she performs intimate (and sometimes quite vulgar and undignified) sex acts on men who are not her husband. The logical result, no matter what the intentions of these Baby Boomer women were, is that men feel it is their natural right to sexually exploit all women.
Nice going, “feminists”. Nice going.