The Politically Correct Debt Solution

Chief Wild Eagle: This funny coun­try, once only buf­falo live here, Indian come, then pale­face come, now pale­face give $300 for land Indian take away from buffalo…could only hap­pen in America.

F Troop Iron Horse Go Home 1965

I’ve been very busy with the new Syn­di­cated Radio show so I haven’t had a lot of time to fin­ish the excel­lent book my son gave me for Christ­mas Ships of Oak Guns of Iron on the War of 1812. The book jumps from land to see (the land war is often ignored In the 275 pages that I’ve fin­ished as the chap­ters jump from land to sea there was a note con­cern­ing the Creek Indian Wars that leaped off the page 261:

The south­ern tribes were incur­ring bur­den­some trade debts with the United States in exchange for man­u­fac­tured goods and foods and land con­ces­sions had become a com­mon mech­a­nism to extin­guish the debt.

And that’s when it hit

Every day the Fed­eral gov­ern­ment, states and cities seize land from indi­vid­u­als and cor­po­ra­tions for unpaid taxes, ille­gal activ­i­ties etc etc etc.

All we have to do is, at fair mar­ket value, cede said land on the fed­eral, state and city level to the rec­og­nized tribe whose lands at the time of the foun­da­tion of the nation were clos­est to the said land while the tribes assume a por­tion of the city, state or fed­eral debt equal to the value of the land ceded.

In every pub­lic school our lib­eral friends inform our chil­dren how HOR­RI­BLE we are, how Amer­ica is built on land stolen from the Amer­i­can Indian, well under this plan the Amer­i­can Indian can get their land back piece by piece while retir­ing debts that our gov­ern­ment can’t hope to repay otherwise.

Here’s the big chance for Barack Obama, Andrew Cuomo, Pat Quinn, Jerry Brown and Mar­tin O’Malley to not only get their fis­cal houses in order but to strike a blow for jus­tice for the Amer­i­can Indian.

And for Amer­i­can Indi­ans, here is a chance to get back the land of your ances­tors and prove that you can cer­tainly do bet­ter with it than a bunch of Euro­peans or even bet­ter to eschew all that nasty non-​stone age tech­nol­ogy and mechan­ics those inter­lop­ers brought with them and get back get back to nature with no car­bon foot­print for the eye to see.

Envi­ron­men­tal­ists, and Ani­mals lovers will adore you as will the bear, wolf, and the bob­cat who can return to those areas with­out wor­ry­ing about those nasty evil guns used to drive them out in the first place.

It will be won­der­ful, Unless of course today’s Amer­i­can Indian has picked up cer­tain bad habits:

Chief Wild Eagle:We can not lose busi­ness or my peo­ple will starve!

Cor­po­ral Agarn:What are you talk­ing about chief? The woods are full of game, fish in the streams, nuts berries…

Roar­ing Chicken:Hekawis never learn to live off land

Chief Wild Eagle:Last time we have hunt­ing party have to send out search party to find them

Roar­ing Chicken:Still wait­ing for search party to come back

F-​Troop The Girl from Philadel­phia 1965

Now I know what some of you are think­ing: Such a deal gives an unfair advan­tages to tribes like the Nar­ra­ganset, Delaware, Paiute, Mohave, the Win­nebago, Miami, Shawnee, Chick­a­saw, Susque­han­nock, Powhatan and the Iro­quois, whose ances­tral lands are in blue states where bud­gets are doing poorly as opposed to tribes like the Apache, Comanche, Wichita and Kiowa, Dakota Sioux, Menom­i­nee, Creek and the united Semi­noles as their states gov­erned by peo­ple like Scott Walker and Rick Perry.

Have no fear thanks to the Urban areas run into the ground by Democ­rats who have an iron grip upon them those Red State Tribes can make deals with large demo­c­rat cities like Detroit to get prime spots in cities that were once Indian set­tle­ments in days past.

After all I’m sure the UN would approve.