This is why college graduates are stripping to pay back their student loans

Over the past few years, many articles have come out detailing the lives of female college (or law school) graduates who are engaging in ‘sex work’ to make ends meet.  They strip, pole-dance, and otherwise sell their young bodies for money.  Most people blame the economy.  Some blame the higher education bubble.  I blame the course offerings at colleges:

Item Eight: North Carolina State University spent $304.69 to purchase butt plugs, vibrators, dildos and other sexual devices as prizes for a “Dirty Bingo” event. NCSU official Lauryn Collier says the purpose of “Dirty Bingo” is to “find ‘innovative’ ways to discuss sexual health on the campus … The certified educators plan to use some of the items … to demonstrate healthy sex practices.”

Note to college co-eds: if you spend your years learning about vibrators, dildos, and how the patriarchy is scared of your amazing sexuality, then do not be surprised when strip clubs are the only places that will offer you paid employment when you graduate.  (Also be aware that shaking your chest in a rich man’s face for money is a step up from what you did in college, which is to shake your chest in soon-to-be-rich accounting major’s face for free.)  A final word of advice: do not let your paying clients know that most women your age do not charge for such services, under the belief that giving them out for free is “empowering”.  You do not need to study economics to feel the effects of it.

Okay, that was harsh.  But I spent my college years studying engineering, and, not surprisingly, I had an engineering job upon graduation.  As much as “feminist” college co-eds may beg to differ, the respectable job market prefers to hire women who spent their Friday nights learning surface chemistry and thermodynamics, not those who spent their time learning about the myriad uses for butt plugs or who “explored their sexuality.”  I’m wondering how those interviews would go….

Interviewer: What skills would you bring to the company, which focuses on financial planning?

Co-Ed: I know a lot about vibrators and how they free women from repressive, Judeo-Christian sexual mores; surely, there’s a transferable skill there.