“I asked my three teenage daughters what they thought.”

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"I asked my three teenage daughters what they thought."

Fr. Michael Har­vey: I was try­ing to make it eas­ier for you.

Mag­gie Har­vey: I didn’t want it made eas­ier, I wanted you to say ‘No’.

Cracker My Brother’s Keeper 1995

While Stacy McCain has sim­ply owned the story of Kait­lyn Ash­ley Hunt (You might want to go and read his posts on the sub­ject which I will link at the bot­tom of this one if you are unfa­mil­iar with the case) I’ve only touched on the sub­ject with a sin­gle post, an hour on my radio show and in a few twit­ter exchanges. I’d like to talk about one of them.

Dur­ing once such twit­ter exchanges I ended up speak­ing to a per­son named Alaini the Greek.

greek

She (or he, you really don’t know who peo­ple you haven’t met actu­ally are on the inter­net) was of the opin­ion the charges against Ms. Hunt should be dropped. That being the case I asked our Greek friend the fol­low­ing question

Our Greek friend hemmed, hawed, threw an insult or two but never did answer the ques­tion how­ever there was one thing she DID say that fas­ci­nated me and I think really crys­tal­lizes this debate and problem.

I asked my three teenage daugh­ters what they thought.

Facts in the case not with­stand­ing I found that state­ment extraordinary.

Now I don’t know the age of the daugh­ters in ques­tion, we could be talk­ing triplets who are 19 or 13 or a spac­ing of 18, 16 or and 14 but this is exactly backwards.

It’s no secret that I have very lit­tle respect for my gen­er­a­tion one of my pet peeves is par­ents not being par­ents but try­ing to be friends.

Part of being a par­ent is to restrain your chil­dren. Even the least skilled or most fool­ish par­ent has sim­ply the act of liv­ing has more expe­ri­ence than their chil­dren and are in a bet­ter posi­tion to make judg­ments. A par­ent needs to set bound­aries and estab­lish a code of behav­ior for them to not only teach them how to be adults but to keep them safe in their for­ma­tive years. It is not to be their pals.

For exam­ple I do NOT allow my sons to call me by my first name, I made it very clear that while I love and respect my sons I am their father, I will always be their father. This is NOT an equal rela­tion­ship. It is a par­ents legal and moral duty to raise them and teach them and when that involved say­ing “No” or pun­ish­ing them that doesn’t matter.

If you are more inter­ested in being a friend to your kids or to make your their friends think you are cool, then you are abro­gat­ing your duty.

Now I haven’t met Katie Hunt, I don’t know her par­ents and I don’t know how much the father’s issues have to do with what has been done to this point but I would not be sur­prised if they were the best friend of their dar­ling daughter.

Mean­while the par­ents of the minor in this case Jim and Lau­rie Smith con­tinue to be pil­lo­ried because they didn’t “ask their daugh­ter” if she thought it was OK for her at 14 to have sex with an 18-​year-​old adult in the bath­room at school. They instead took the less pro­gres­sive view that it was their respon­si­bly to teach their girl right and pro­tect her from what was wrong or from things she was just not mature enough to decide for herself.

Per­haps if the Hunt fam­ily fol­lowed that exam­ple their daugh­ter might not be in the trou­ble she’s in now.

As for our friend from BC it’s not my place to tell her how to raise her daugh­ters but it’s my opin­ion her girls will be bet­ter off if she more Smith fam­ily than Hunt fam­ily but even bet­ter as she boast of her Greek Ances­try, I’d sug­gest think­ing of her old Greek Grand­mother and fol­low­ing that exam­ple when­ever possible.

But that’s just my opinion.

BTW here are Stacy McCain’s pieces on the subject:

PRE­VI­OUSLY:

I sug­gest read­ing them all:

Update: The Pink Flamingo notes the cost the Smith Fam­ily has paid for decid­ing to prac­tice par­ent­ing:

James and Lau­rie Smith don’t have insur­ance for fam­ily coun­selling. They’ve been harassed so badly, they’ve dis­con­nected their phones. They’ve taken down web sites. They are being harassed and under pro­tec­tion. Their fam­ily has been threat­ened. Jana Eschbach of http://​www​.cbs12​.com is one of the few peo­ple help­ing the Smiths. If you want to help them, email her. She will make sure the funds get to them. Thanks to the Hunt fam­ily they are in bad shape. This is one of the inter­views with the Smith fam­ily. The press con­fer­ence for the Hunt fam­ily.

Face­book pages down

Under pro­tec­tion

Hunt’s sup­port­ers harass­ing them

No way to raise money

No sup­port group for the Smiths

This was the first time the Smith child had had sex

The child ran away from home to be with Kate

There is lit­tle sup­port for the Smith fam­ily online

Mean­while the Hunts as of this moment have raised over $24,000 via GofundME appar­ently not par­ent­ing pays.

Update 2: Appar­ently it was unclear that the list in the last update was part of the quote, fixed.

Update 3: Stacy McCain links and gets to the point:

A child, if left unsu­per­vised to pur­sue his plea­sure, is likely to spend all his time watch­ing car­toons or play­ing video games, to eat noth­ing but junk food. Not only is this bad for his health and intel­lec­tual devel­op­ment, but if he is per­mit­ted to acquire such habits, he also acquires the idea that it is his right to live exactly as his chooses, with­out any oblig­a­tion to soci­ety to make him­self use­ful or productive.

To indulge the child in the illu­sion of his own com­pe­tence — to sur­ren­der author­ity to him — is to per­suade him that you, the adult, have no supe­ri­or­ity to him in terms of knowl­edge or experience.

Your home can­not be a democ­racy; chil­dren are nat­u­rally tyrants.

Let the child have Sude­ten­land and next he’ll invade Poland.

Bingo!
*************************************************

[olimome­ter id=3]

While Amer­ica cel­e­brated or remem­bered the Memo­r­ial Day Hol­i­day DaTip­Jar also took a holiday

Last week was a poor week for DaTip­Jar and this week has man­aged to start worse.

You can change that by sim­ply hit­ting Datip­Jar below.

Fr. Michael Harvey: I was trying to make it easier for you.

Maggie Harvey: I didn’t want it made easier, I wanted you to say ‘No’.

Cracker My Brother’s Keeper 1995

 

While Stacy McCain has simply owned the story of Kaitlyn Ashley Hunt (You might want to go and read his posts on the subject which I will link at the bottom of this one if you are unfamiliar with the case) I’ve only touched on the subject with a single post, an hour on my radio show and in a few twitter exchanges.  I’d like to talk about one of them.

During once such twitter exchanges I ended up speaking to a person named Alaini the Greek.

greek

She (or he, you really don’t know who people you haven’t met actually are on the internet) was of the opinion the charges against Ms. Hunt should be dropped. That being the case I asked our Greek friend the following question

 

Our Greek friend hemmed, hawed, threw an insult or two but never did answer the question however there was one thing she DID say that fascinated me and I think really crystallizes this debate and problem.

 

I asked my three teenage daughters what they thought.

Facts in the case not withstanding I found that statement extraordinary.

Now I don’t know the age of the daughters in question, we could be talking triplets who are 19 or 13 or a spacing of 18, 16 or and 14 but this is exactly backwards.

It’s no secret that I have very little respect for my generation one of my pet peeves is parents not being parents but trying to be friends.

Part of being a parent is to restrain your children. Even the least skilled or most foolish parent has simply the act of living has more experience than their children and are in a better position to make judgments. A parent needs to set boundaries and establish a code of behavior for them to not only teach them how to be adults but to keep them safe in their formative years. It is not to be their pals.

For example I do NOT allow my sons to call me by my first name, I made it very clear that while I love and respect my sons I am their father, I will always be their father. This is NOT an equal relationship. It is a parents legal and moral duty to raise them and teach them and when that involved saying “No” or punishing them that doesn’t matter.

If you are more interested in being a friend to your kids or to make your their friends think you are cool, then you are abrogating your duty.

Now I haven’t met Katie Hunt, I don’t know her parents and I don’t know how much the father’s issues have to do with what has been done to this point but I would not be surprised if they were the best friend of their darling daughter.

Meanwhile the parents of the minor in this case Jim and Laurie Smith continue to be pilloried because they didn’t “ask their daughter” if she thought it was OK for her at 14 to have sex with an 18-year-old adult in the bathroom at school. They instead took the less progressive view that it was their responsibly to teach their girl right and protect her from what was wrong or from things she was just not mature enough to decide for herself.

Perhaps if the Hunt family followed that example their daughter might not be in the trouble she’s in now.

As for our friend from BC it’s not my place to tell her how to raise her daughters but it’s my opinion her girls will be better off if she more Smith family than Hunt family but even better as she boast of her Greek Ancestry, I’d suggest thinking of her old Greek Grandmother and following that example whenever possible.

But that’s just my opinion.

BTW here are Stacy McCain’s pieces on the subject:

PREVIOUSLY:

I suggest reading them all:

Update:  The Pink Flamingo notes the cost the Smith Family has paid for deciding to practice parenting:

James and Laurie Smith don’t have insurance for family counselling.  They’ve been harassed so badly, they’ve disconnected their phones.  They’ve taken down web sites.  They are being harassed and under protection. Their family has been threatened.  Jana Eschbach of http://www.cbs12.com is one of the few people helping the Smiths.  If you want to help them, email her.  She will make sure the funds get to them.  Thanks to the Hunt family they are in bad shape.  This is one of the interviews with the Smith family.  The press conference for the Hunt family.

Facebook pages down

Under protection

Hunt’s supporters harassing them

No way to raise money

No support group for the Smiths

This was the first time the Smith child had had sex

The child ran away from home to be with Kate

There is little support for the Smith family online

Meanwhile the Hunts as of this moment have raised over $24,000 via GofundME apparently not parenting pays.

Update 2: Apparently it was unclear that the list in the last update was part of the quote, fixed.

Update 3: Stacy McCain links and gets to the point:

A child, if left unsupervised to pursue his pleasure, is likely to spend all his time watching cartoons or playing video games, to eat nothing but junk food. Not only is this bad for his health and intellectual development, but if he is permitted to acquire such habits, he also acquires the idea that it is his right to live exactly as his chooses, without any obligation to society to make himself useful or productive.

To indulge the child in the illusion of his own competence — to surrender authority to him — is to persuade him that you, the adult, have no superiority to him in terms of knowledge or experience.

Your home cannot be a democracy; children are naturally tyrants.

Let the child have Sudetenland and next he’ll invade Poland.

Bingo!
*************************************************

Olimometer 2.52

While America celebrated or remembered the Memorial Day Holiday DaTipJar also took a holiday

Last week was a poor week for DaTipJar and this week has managed to start worse.

You can change that by simply hitting DatipJar below.