Education Experts Gone Wild

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Education Experts Gone Wild

For this post, I col­lected a whole lotta links on Edu­ca­tion Expert Stu­pid­ity. At the start, I was all geared up for apoplexy. I’m talk­ing out­rage of the eye-​twitching, blood vessel-​bursting kind.

Writ­ing is a jour­ney, how­ever, and the des­ti­na­tion is often a sur­prise. Cer­tainly, idiocy is in no short sup­ply. But at the end of my research, the expected out­rage is strangely absent.

Per­haps my own expe­ri­ences, first as a stu­dent and then a par­ent, have already inured me to the shock. As far back as I can remem­ber, pub­lic edu­ca­tion has stunk. Why, I remem­ber way back in nineteen-​diggity-​four, how my charm­ing mid­dle school social stud­ies teacher defined polit­i­cal ide­ol­ogy for us young bowls of mush:

Lib­eral – generous

Con­ser­v­a­tive – stingy”

Yep. And she didn’t even have that handy-​dandy Com­mon Core stan­dard to rely on. She didn’t need it, because our pub­lic school cur­ric­ula were already drained of actual con­tent. Just pop open your child’s social stud­ies text­book, like this one, and you’ll see what I mean.

Com­mon Core is bad stuff, but it’s not ruin­ing edu­ca­tion. It’s just stan­dard­iz­ing and accel­er­at­ing the ongo­ing ruination.

The biggest change is in our sense of smell. Our olfac­tory nerves have been acti­vated, and we are finally notic­ing the stench. And do you know what? We have the Gun Con­trol and Com­mon Core crowds to thank for that.

So let me be the first to offi­cially say, “thank you!” Thank you, Edu­ca­tion Sec­re­tary Arne Dun­can, for try­ing to defend your cur­ric­ula by insult­ing the soc­cer moms that get Democ­rats elected.

Thank you, low-​level bureau­crats, for con­tin­u­ing to act like bul­lies in the age of the iphone and cit­i­zen jour­nal­ism.

Thank you, unicorn-​riding total­i­tar­i­ans, for show­ing us how far you are will­ing to go in order to kick that stub­born gun cul­ture into sub­mis­sion.

We frogs had been qui­etly sim­mer­ing in our baths, but not so much any­more. We are kind of done with you peo­ple.

Here are some more rea­sons why we are done:

Cat­e­gory One: Pub­lic School Cur­ric­ula a.k.a. The Dog’s Dinner

  1. Creepy Uncle Sam wants you to know that the gov­ern­ment is just like one big happy family!
  2. Don’t tell your par­ents about this assign­ment because it is guar­an­teed to anger at least half of them!
  3. A new 4th grade primer explains why only racists wouldn’t vote for Barry.
  4. This 8th grade def­i­n­i­tion of con­ser­vatism makes less sense than “stingy.”
  5. IKEA fur­ni­ture assem­bly instruc­tions are eas­ier than Com­mon Core math.
  6. Seri­ously.
  7. The book 1984 is too enlight­en­ing, and not nearly dis­turb­ing enough for our young impres­sion­ables.
  8. Stuffy par­ents have a prob­lem with read­ing assign­ments that include the F bomb.
  9. Also porno­graphic mate­r­ial. Par­ents just don’t like it.
  10. Con­sti­tu­tion, schmon­sti­tu­tion!
  11. With the child already indoc­tri­nated in 4th grade to throw out the Con­sti­tu­tion for his safety, he should be ready for this assign­ment in 6th grade.
  12. When you know that the left loves decon­struc­tion­ism, it makes per­fect sense to dis­cuss the Get­tys­burg Address with­out men­tion­ing the Civil War.
  13. This arti­cle is pro-​Common Core, but notice how under­stand­ing and restat­ing a story’s plot is out-​of-​fashion. In fash­ion: mak­ing up an email from a character’s point of view! This non­sense is hailed as “crit­i­cal think­ing,” but it is actu­ally another fine exam­ple of decon­struc­tion because the reader’s inter­pre­ta­tion and cre­ativ­ity is more impor­tant than the author’s mean­ing and intent.

Cat­e­gory Two: Tyrants R Us

  1. First off, many anti-​gun links are above. They are myr­iad, but Mr. Mitchell col­lected many of them in this post. From key chains to NRA t-​shirts to toys to break­fast pas­tries, edu­ca­tors are com­ing after them like a Ter­mi­na­tor hunt­ing Sarah Con­nor.
  2. This anti-​gun inci­dent deserves its very own spot: you have a concealed-​carry per­mit, Mom? You are banned!
  3. Who can for­get the infa­mous lunch that Wasn’t Good Enough?
  4. What hap­pens when the paper­work is more impor­tant than peo­ple.
  5. What hap­pens when caloric math is more impor­tant than peo­ple.
  6. You can’t have your kid.
  7. You can’t either.
  8. No kid for you!
  9. Also, stop vis­it­ing the school so much, par­ents. You are not wanted.
  10. Just drop the kids off in a timely man­ner, so we won’t have to fine you.
  11. And make sure all their absences are approved, so we won’t have to jail you.

No doubt, this rep­re­sents only the tip of the ice­berg. Kind read­ers, please add your own links or per­sonal sto­ries of Edu­ca­tion Expert Stu­pid­ity to my hum­ble list. And have a great week!

For this post, I collected a whole lotta links on Education Expert Stupidity.  At the start, I was all geared up for apoplexy.  I’m talking outrage of the eye-twitching, blood vessel-bursting kind.

Writing is a journey, however, and the destination is often a surprise.  Certainly, idiocy is in no short supply.  But at the end of my research, the expected outrage is strangely absent.

Perhaps my own experiences, first as a student and then a parent, have already inured me to the shock.  As far back as I can remember, public education has stunk.  Why, I remember way back in nineteen-diggity-four, how my charming middle school social studies teacher defined political ideology for us young bowls of mush:

“Liberal – generous

Conservative – stingy”

Yep.  And she didn’t even have that handy-dandy Common Core standard to rely on.  She didn’t need it, because our public school curricula were already drained of actual content.  Just pop open your child’s social studies textbook, like this one, and you’ll see what I mean.

Common Core is bad stuff, but it’s not ruining education.  It’s just standardizing and accelerating the ongoing ruination.

The biggest change is in our sense of smell.  Our olfactory nerves have been activated, and we are finally noticing the stench.  And do you know what?  We have the Gun Control and Common Core crowds to thank for that.

So let me be the first to officially say, “thank you!” Thank you, Education Secretary Arne Duncan, for trying to defend your curricula by insulting the soccer moms that get Democrats elected.

Thank you, low-level bureaucrats, for continuing to act like bullies in the age of the iphone and citizen journalism.

Thank you, unicorn-riding totalitarians, for showing us how far you are willing to go in order to kick that stubborn gun culture into submission.

We frogs had been quietly simmering in our baths, but not so much anymore.  We are kind of done with you people.

Here are some more reasons why we are done:

Category One:  Public School Curricula a.k.a. The Dog’s Dinner

  1. Creepy Uncle Sam wants you to know that the government is just like one big happy family!
  2. Don’t tell your parents about this assignment because it is guaranteed to anger at least half of them!
  3. A new 4th grade primer explains why only racists wouldn’t vote for Barry.
  4. This 8th grade definition of conservatism makes less sense than “stingy.”
  5. IKEA furniture assembly instructions are easier than Common Core math.
  6. Seriously.
  7. The book 1984 is too enlightening, and not nearly disturbing enough for our young impressionables.
  8. Stuffy parents have a problem with reading assignments that include the F bomb.
  9. Also pornographic material.  Parents just don’t like it.
  10. Constitution, schmonstitution!
  11. With the child already indoctrinated in 4th grade to throw out the Constitution for his safety, he should be ready for this assignment in 6th grade.
  12. When you know that the left loves deconstructionism, it makes perfect sense to discuss the Gettysburg Address without mentioning the Civil War.
  13. This article is pro-Common Core, but notice how understanding and restating a story’s plot is out-of-fashion.  In fashion:  making up an email from a character’s point of view!  This nonsense is hailed as “critical thinking,” but it is actually another fine example of deconstruction because the reader’s interpretation and creativity is more important than the author’s meaning and intent.

Category Two:  Tyrants R Us

  1. First off, many anti-gun links are above.  They are myriad, but Mr. Mitchell collected many of them in this post.  From key chains to NRA t-shirts to toys to breakfast pastries, educators are coming after them like a Terminator hunting Sarah Connor.
  2. This anti-gun incident deserves its very own spot:  you have a concealed-carry permit, Mom?  You are banned!
  3. Who can forget the infamous lunch that Wasn’t Good Enough?
  4. What happens when the paperwork is more important than people.
  5. What happens when caloric math is more important than people.
  6. You can’t have your kid.
  7. You can’t either.
  8. No kid for you!
  9. Also, stop visiting the school so much, parents.  You are not wanted.
  10. Just drop the kids off in a timely manner, so we won’t have to fine you.
  11. And make sure all their absences are approved, so we won’t have to jail you.

No doubt, this represents only the tip of the iceberg.  Kind readers, please add your own links or personal stories of Education Expert Stupidity to my humble list.  And have a great week!