By A.P. Dillon
Over the weekend, there was another round of Hilary Rosening. By that I mean the disparaging of stay at home moms. This war on women by other women started with Rosen, was picked up by Michelle Goldberg and then again by Elizabeth Wurtzel. The latest to pick up the mantle is a woman named Amy Glass.
This Amy Glass person wrote an article titled, I Look Down On Young Women With Husbands And Kids And I’m Not Sorry. I’m not linking to it. She doesn’t deserve more than the one click she got out of me already.
You’re probably saying that couldn’t really be the title. No, really. That was the title. You didn’t even have to read it to know what this childless, Ivory tower, I’m-your-better-so- listen-to-me type was going to say.
Here’s the Cliff Notes version of what she thinks about stay at home moms (SAHMS):
- SAHMS are average and “do nothing”.
- It’s hiding from the fact SAHMS have “no real accomplishments”.
- SAHMS are “conditioned” to think what they do is important when in fact, according to Glass, it’s stupid.
- It’s not a real job. Doctors and engineers are real jobs.
Let me respond to these four points in kind with the level of sophistication that Ms. Glass displayed: No.
Longer: The level of self-importance and lack of self-awareness in this woman’s article is staggering. Glass sit there and plays Jenga with the roles of society, ripping out the one that brings the rest of the pieces toppling down.
As someone who worked before she stayed home, let me enlighten Ms. Glass. I’m possibly her worst nightmare since I am college educated and worked in the corporate world for over a decade before having a child. In fact, I have two now. Ya know what? I LOVE STAYING HOME WITH MY KIDS. *gasp* It’s the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. You’re a fool.
It should be noted that I still recognize to this day that there are women who chose to work outside the home instead of being stay at home – that’s fine and that is their choice. By the same token, some of them have to work outside the home, some don’t. Either way, it’s their choice. I made a choice too and that was to raise my children. Contrary to Ms. Glass’ point of view: Women do have choices. These choices shouldn’t be disparaged, but should be celebrated. Perhaps it’s that very fact we have choices that ticks her off so bad — we’re not choosing as she has.
I thought a bit like Ms. Glass before having kids. In fact, I thought that I would return to work even while I was pregnant with my first son. I had a career, was important and people counted on me. Although I might have had the same ideas about ambition, I would never have made such a sweeping set of insults against women the world over who have stayed home and raised their children. Yes, they are insults, Ms. Glass. Ridiculous ones at that.
Anyway, the moment I held him… all bets were off.
No meeting I could go to, no client, no presentation, no job was nearly in the same realm as the responsibility and importance of the little bundle in my arms. I would be willing to bet that even moms working outside the home still consider being a mom as their biggest and most important role. I won’t go into the long list of things I do as a SAHM, but anyone who has done it even for a short time knows SAHMS wear more hats than we can count. SAHM or working mom — it’s not just a job, it’s also role. Just like father, brother, sister, aunt and so on. Moms are a part of the fabric that makes up society – the very one YOU live in. Sorry Ms. Glass, but you’ve read Feminine Mystique one too many times.
Quick Sidenote: Fathers matter too, but this piece is about the moms.
You Had Mother
What Ms. Glass brushes off is that Motherhood is the cornerstone of human existence. It’s the propagation of the species and the shaping of those who will make up our society. The doctors and engineers? They had mothers. The person who created the computer that she hammered out her self-loathing screed on? They had a mother. Stay at home mom or working mom – they had one. Even Ms. Glass had one. Imagine that.
Jacques Barzun’s prologue in From Dawn of Decadence sums up the problem with Ms. Glass and her thinking:
“All that is meant by Decadence is “falling off”. It implies in those who live in such a time no loss of energy or talent or moral sense. On the contrary, it is a very active time, full of deep concerns, but peculiarly restless, for it sees no clear lines of advance. The loss it faces is that of Possibility. The forms of art as life seem exhausted, the stages of development have run through.”
When people take for granted the pursuits that make their existence possible and then take it one further by denigrating such people, a society has become decadent. Ms. Glass is the epitome of decadent. I reject Ms. Glass’ moral condemnation of motherhood as she clearly seems to ignore where her own culture and society come from.
I’m raising my children and doing it by staying home with them. Suck a lemon, Ms. Glass. I reject your shallow, improvident and myopic opinion of me and women like me – both past, future and present. In closing:
- Providing a stable, loving environment with a parent present for children to grow and learn in is not stupid, it’s imperative.
- Raising decent human beings that will participate and further our society and species is definitely an accomplishment.
- I’m not conditioned by society to stay at home and raise my children. If I’m conditioned, it is by the decision to have them in the first place. Unconditional love is a helluva drug.
- It is a real job. In fact it is THE real job.
Ms. Glass will never “get” any of this. My children will and they’ll pass it on.
A.P. Dillon (Lady Liberty 1885), is a Conservative minded wife and mother living in the Triangle area of North Carolina. A.P. Dillon founded the blog LadyLiberty1885.com in 2009. After the 2012 election, she added an Instapundit style blog called The ConMom Blog. Mrs. Dillon’s writing can also be found at StopCommonCoreNC.org, WatchdogWireNC and WizBang. Non-political writing projects include science fiction novellas that are, as of yet, unpublished. Her current writing project is a children’s book series.