Arthur: But if you all work all day every day when is the time for adventure?
Little John: Life is 9/10 work my boy with a little play when you can get it.
The Adventures of Robin Hood The Youngest Outlaw 1955
We talk a lot about political stuff here but Ed Morrissey imparts some on what’s actually important or more importantly what makes a marriage work on the occasion of his 20th anniversary:
Marriage is tough. It takes work, understanding, forgiveness, and maturity — which Marcia has in abundance, thankfully, to make up for my deficits. Seriously, though, what I have discovered along the way is that it takes a firm and committed heart. Not the romantic notions of heart, but the true sense of the conjunction of the will and the intellect, joined in love and with God at the center. Our marriage has been strongest at those times when we felt weakest and fell back on the strength we had in the Lord. After that happens a few times, the lesson starts to sink in, even through the thickest skull. You know … mine.
that’s the first component of a successful marriage realizing how it involves work and effort and not the nonsense you see on TV.
The Second component touches on the 2nd most important aspect of Marriage I had a moment on New Years Eve that illustrates it perfectly.
Ens Covery (translating Cinque): I will call to the past, far back to the beginning of time, and beg them to come and help me at the judgment. I will reach back and draw them into me, and they must come, for at this moment, I am the whole reason they have existed at all.
The wife and I were in a restaurant in Worcester and there was a young waitress who was doing the prep for what would be a big night before heading to her 2nd job.
The wife and I got to talking with her she was getting ready to graduate and then was going to Head to Hawaii for a few months with some friends and decide if she wanted to stay, by an odd coincidence my wife did the same thing after college.
The girl asked my wife about her time in Hawaii and she talked about how wonderful it was. The girl then asked if she regrets not staying there and settle.
She didn’t hesitate for a moment declaring if she had stayed in Hawaii she wouldn’t have our sons.
And THAT is the sign of the perspective that you want. Once you have children, they remain the priority no matter what the age they are. Too many people see children as sign of status rather than a labor of love and responsibility that last a lifetime.
There was a time when these cultural truths were understood not only because they were self-evident but because they were the secret to success of both a family and a society.
But as the culture of narcissism & me brought by the baby boom generation and reinforced by the media has taken hold these values have retreated to the religious and cultural conservatives.
It will take decades for the culture to change as the Baby boomers die and their influence dies off but take those two lessons to heart, marriage takes work and your children are the priority, and you will see success.
Happy Anniversary Ed and many more.
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