Originally posted on November 9, 2003 at my old blog
You know them, as do I. They are the people who have become so used to lying to get what they want, that they actually believe their own lies and think you’re the one that’s crazy for not believing them also. I know a few people like this. I was even married to one.
There are some people who put the cart in front of the horse; the conclusion is made first, then the premises are twisted to fit that conclusion.
Self-serving ideas are formed—to justify what they want–and these ideas become “fact” to them. Then, when those who have the horse-cart thing in the correct order try to show them that their cart is missing a wheel, has a hole in the bottom, or is made of rotting wood, they shut their ears and say “la-la-la-la-la.”
Or maybe a situation occurs; maybe an argument in which both you and that person participated.
When the person recounts the story, however, the pertinent facts are missing. Or, even if the facts do appear in the recount, they are so twisted that you don’t even recognize that it’s the same event. They are twisted, of course, in that person’s favor and to make you look like the bad guy.
Though you were there too, you find yourself wondering if maybe it was you who forgot what really happened. But only for a moment. Then you realize who or, rather, what you are dealing with.
You point out the “forgotten” facts to the person. Even if they still have a sliver of honesty left in them to acknowledge that they got the telling of the facts wrong, they will still make everything your fault.
“I did this because I know that you would have done the same thing!” This is said without giving an example of when you did the same thing.
“I did this because you did this.” The “this” will turn out to be something totally innocuous or even something that the two of you had agreed upon at the time. You throw up your hands.
They want whatever it is they want, the truth be damned. Their wants override any notions of honor, fidelity and morality.
You know what these people are called. Sociopaths.
I will admit to exhibiting some sociopathic behavior in my younger days. But, at some point, I realized that I was hurting people. At some point, I grew up; perhaps after bearing the brunt of others’ sociopathy. And it is a matter of growing up. After all, what are little babies but cute little bundled-up squalling psychopaths?
Beware of these people, these babies that have grown taller, but have never grown up. Some will merely become a blip in your rear-view mirror—if you’re fortunate. It’s the ones that won’t go away, the ones that have the power to affect change for the worst on a grand scale that are the problem. You have to keep an eye, or perhaps something more lethal, on these.
Juliette Akinyi Ochieng blogs at baldilocks. Her first novel, Tale of the Tigers: Love is Not a Game, was published in 2009; the second edition in 2012. Her new novel, Arlen’s Harem, is due in 2014. Help her fund it and help keep her blog alive!
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