Amoris Laetitia as it actually is V: Patience, Envy, Blame and forgiveness

Readability

Amoris Laetitia as it actually is V: Patience, Envy, Blame and forgiveness

The lat­est in my series of show­ing Amoris Laeti­tia as it is vs what some pre­tend it to be.

Just a reminder Patience is a virtue and also makes things work

92. Being patient does not mean let­ting our­selves be con­stantly mis­treated, tol­er­at­ing phys­i­cal aggres­sion or allow­ing other peo­ple to use us. We encounter prob­lems when­ever we think that rela­tion­ships or peo­ple ought to be per­fect, or when we put our­selves at the cen­tre and expect things to turn out our way. Then every­thing makes us impa­tient, every­thing makes us react aggres­sively. Unless we cul­ti­vate patience, we will always find excuses for respond­ing angrily. We will end up inca­pable of liv­ing together, anti­so­cial, unable to con­trol our impulses, and our fam­i­lies will become bat­tle­grounds. That is why the word of God tells us: “Let all bit­ter­ness and wrath and anger and clam­our and slan­der be put away from you, with all mal­ice” (Eph 4:31). Patience takes root when I rec­og­nize that other peo­ple also have a right to live in this world, just as they are. It does not mat­ter if they hold me back, if they unset­tle my plans, or annoy me by the way they act or think, or if they are not every­thing I want them to be. Love always has an aspect of deep com­pas­sion that leads to accept­ing the other per­son as part of this world, even when he or she acts dif­fer­ently than I would like.

But our soci­ety and the left doesn’t like patience because it gets rid of the excuse to do what one wants at once and as I’ve always said the worst thing in the world is an excuse.

The Pope also talks a bit about a par­tic­u­lar deadly sin, envy.

95. Saint Paul goes on to reject as con­trary to love an atti­tude expressed by the verb zelói – to be Spir­i­tual Exer­cises, Con­tem­pla­tion to Attain Love jeal­ous or envi­ous. This means that love has no room for dis­com­fi­ture at another person’s good for­tune (cf. Acts 7:9; 17:5). Envy is a form of sad­ness pro­voked by another’s pros­per­ity; it shows that we are not con­cerned for the hap­pi­ness of oth­ers but only with our own well-​being. Whereas love makes us rise above our­selves, envy closes us in on our­selves. True love val­ues the other person’s achieve­ments. It does not see him or her as a threat. It frees us from the sour taste of envy. It rec­og­nizes that every­one has dif­fer­ent gifts and a unique path in life. So it strives to dis­cover its own road to hap­pi­ness, while allow­ing oth­ers to find theirs.

Love and envy are sim­ply not com­pat­i­ble how­ever in our con­sumer soci­ety envy is a driver.

And he brings us some­thing not blam­ing other and look­ing at ourselves.

107. Today we rec­og­nize that being able to for­give oth­ers implies the lib­er­at­ing expe­ri­ence of under­stand­ing and for­giv­ing our­selves. Often our mis­takes, or crit­i­cism we have received from loved ones, can lead to a loss of self-​esteem. We become dis­tant from oth­ers, avoid­ing affec­tion and fear­ful in our inter­per­sonal rela­tion­ships. Blam­ing oth­ers becomes falsely reas­sur­ing. We need to learn to pray over our past his­tory, to accept our­selves, to learn how to live with our lim­i­ta­tions, and even to for­give our­selves, in order to have this same atti­tude towards others.

One must for­give one­self before one can for­give oth­ers but one must also look at one­self hon­estly, and boy the left hates that.

Plus the base of our abil­ity to for­give oth­ers is the will­ing­ness of God to for­give us:

108. All this assumes that we our­selves have had the expe­ri­ence of being for­given by God, jus­ti­fied by his grace and not by our own mer­its. We have known a love that is prior to any of our own efforts, a love that con­stantly opens doors, pro­motes and encour­ages. If we accept that God’s love is uncon­di­tional, that the Father’s love can­not be bought or sold, then we will become capa­ble of show­ing bound­less love and for­giv­ing oth­ers even if they have wronged us. Oth­er­wise, our fam­ily life will no longer be a place of under­stand­ing, sup­port and encour­age­ment, but rather one of con­stant ten­sion and mutual criticism.

This is a big rea­son why mar­riage fails, When you con­sid­ered that God has for­given you it’s eas­ier to for­give each other, but one a soci­ety rejects Chris­tian­ity and for­give­ness then it becomes harder to for­give and eas­ier to just walk away from mar­riage and family.

The latest in my series of showing Amoris Laetitia as it is vs what some pretend it to be.

Just a reminder Patience is a virtue and also makes things work

92. Being patient does not mean letting ourselves be constantly mistreated, tolerating physical aggression or allowing other people to use us. We encounter problems whenever we think that relationships or people ought to be perfect, or when we put ourselves at the centre and expect things to turn out our way. Then everything makes us impatient, everything makes us react aggressively. Unless we cultivate patience, we will always find excuses for responding angrily. We will end up incapable of living together, antisocial, unable to control our impulses, and our families will become battlegrounds. That is why the word of God tells us: “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamour and slander be put away from you, with all malice” (Eph 4:31). Patience takes root when I recognize that other people also have a right to live in this world, just as they are. It does not matter if they hold me back, if they unsettle my plans, or annoy me by the way they act or think, or if they are not everything I want them to be. Love always has an aspect of deep compassion that leads to accepting the other person as part of this world, even when he or she acts differently than I would like.

But our society and the left doesn’t like patience because it gets rid of the excuse to do what one wants at once and as I’ve always said the worst thing in the world is an excuse.

The Pope also talks a bit about a particular deadly sin, envy.

95. Saint Paul goes on to reject as contrary to love an attitude expressed by the verb zelói – to be Spiritual Exercises, Contemplation to Attain Love jealous or envious. This means that love has no room for discomfiture at another person’s good fortune (cf. Acts 7:9; 17:5). Envy is a form of sadness provoked by another’s prosperity; it shows that we are not concerned for the happiness of others but only with our own well-being. Whereas love makes us rise above ourselves, envy closes us in on ourselves. True love values the other person’s achievements. It does not see him or her as a threat. It frees us from the sour taste of envy. It recognizes that everyone has different gifts and a unique path in life. So it strives to discover its own road to happiness, while allowing others to find theirs.

Love and envy are simply not compatible however in our consumer society envy is a driver.

And he brings us something not blaming other and looking at ourselves.

107. Today we recognize that being able to forgive others implies the liberating experience of understanding and forgiving ourselves. Often our mistakes, or criticism we have received from loved ones, can lead to a loss of self-esteem. We become distant from others, avoiding affection and fearful in our interpersonal relationships. Blaming others becomes falsely reassuring. We need to learn to pray over our past history, to accept ourselves, to learn how to live with our limitations, and even to forgive ourselves, in order to have this same attitude towards others.

One must forgive oneself before one can forgive others but one must also look at oneself honestly, and boy the left hates that.

Plus the base of our ability to forgive others is the willingness of God to forgive us:

108. All this assumes that we ourselves have had the experience of being forgiven by God, justified by his grace and not by our own merits. We have known a love that is prior to any of our own efforts, a love that constantly opens doors, promotes and encourages. If we accept that God’s love is unconditional, that the Father’s love cannot be bought or sold, then we will become capable of showing boundless love and forgiving others even if they have wronged us. Otherwise, our family life will no longer be a place of understanding, support and encouragement, but rather one of constant tension and mutual criticism.

This is a big reason why marriage fails, When you considered that God has forgiven you it’s easier to forgive each other, but one a society rejects Christianity and forgiveness then it becomes harder to forgive and easier to just walk away from marriage and family.