Readability

Hamilton and Marriage

My teenage daugh­ter is obsessed with Hamil­ton, the musi­cal that has taken Broad­way by storm. Not being a fan of rap music, I was not par­tic­u­larly inter­ested in lis­ten­ing to the sound­track, but see­ing my daughter’s reac­tion to it made me more than a lit­tle curi­ous. We recently had occa­sion to spend quite a bit of com­mut­ing time in the car together and, since she had the music on her phone, the show’s sound­track became the sound­track of our dri­ves. It’s easy to see why the show has become so pop­u­lar, and a show that can save Alexan­der Hamilton’s place on the $10 bill and increase the appre­ci­a­tion peo­ple have for our Found­ing Fathers can’t be a bad thing, no mat­ter how much rap it con­tains (and for­tu­nately there is plenty of other styles of music that I found quite com­pelling). I was equally impressed with my daughter’s abil­ity to sing along with the cast (some­times mix­ing mul­ti­ple parts, which was amaz­ing) with her inserted com­men­tary about the polit­i­cal and mil­i­tary back­ground of the events depicted, even point­ing out the his­tor­i­cal inac­cu­ra­cies in the script! Clearly she’s been learn­ing more than just the lyrics. But there was one les­son in par­tic­u­lar I wanted her to learn from the show, and it is one that Hamil­ton and his wife, Eliza, learned the hard way. CAU­TION: Mild Spoil­ers ahead.

When my wife and I were engaged, we went through a multi-​week Mar­riage Prepa­ra­tion pro­gram with our pas­tor, whom I’ll call “Father N.” One part of the pro­gram called for us each to fill out a ques­tion­naire to deter­mine if we had sim­i­lar atti­tudes about dif­fer­ent aspecs of mar­riage, from Faith to finances, fam­ily and even fidelity. One ques­tion in par­tic­u­lar stood out: “Are there any cir­cum­stances under which you might choose to get a divorce?”

My bride and I had actu­ally spo­ken about this in advance and both made it clear that infi­delity would be a deal­breaker, so we both answered “yes” to the ques­tion. When eval­u­at­ing our results, Father N pointed to that as the only prob­lem with our answers. He said that in answer­ing “yes” to that ques­tion, we were giv­ing our­selves an “out,” which con­tra­dicts the Catholic view of mar­riage. Even though we had only one seri­ous con­di­tion in mind, the idea that there could be one thing that would end our mar­riage could lead us to con­sider other lesser offenses to some­how rise to that level. In giv­ing our­selves an out, we would have been enter­ing our mar­riage with­out under­stand­ing what we were really doing. Unfor­tu­nately, too many cou­ples in our soci­ety today lack that under­stand­ing and think that it’s OK to aban­don their mar­riage for far more triv­ial reasons.

That was not true in Hamilton’s time, and the musi­cal shows us this. Whether through faith or through fear of scan­dal, even when Hamilton’s infi­delity comes to light, he and Eliza stay mar­ried, as dif­fi­cult as that is. In “Burn,” Eliza makes her feel­ings clear:

You for­feit all rights to my heart
You for­feit the place in our bed
You sleep in your office instead

Rec­og­niz­ing that he is at fault, Hamil­ton refuses to give up. In “It’s Quiet Uptown,” he rekin­dles his Faith and does his best to win Eliza’s heart again:

I take the chil­dren to church on Sun­day
A sign of the cross at the door
And I pray
That never used to hap­pen before

It is his stead­fast­ness, espe­cially in fac­ing the death of their son Philip, that they even­tu­ally expe­ri­ence “a grace too pow­er­ful to name” and she even­tu­ally for­gives him:

Alexan­der by Eliza’s side
She takes his hand

After his untimely death, Eliza reded­i­cates her life to con­tin­u­ing his legacy as best she can:

The Lord, in his kind­ness
He gives me what you always wanted
He gives me more /​Time

She raises money for the Wash­ing­ton Mon­u­ment, speaks out against slav­ery and, most telling, estab­lishes the first pri­vate orphan­age in New York City and helps raise hun­dreds of chil­dren, say­ing “In their eyes, I see you, Alexan­der.” Finally, she expresses her belief that she will see him again, in time.

Maybe in addi­tion to learn­ing about our nation’s found­ing, fans of Hamil­ton will also learn the true spirit of com­mit­ment, love and for­give­ness inher­ent in mar­riage. Wouldn’t that be something?

A note to read­ers: It’s get­ting down to “crunch time” for Da Mag­nif­i­cent Prospects, so I’d really appre­ci­ate it if you could share this arti­cle and my oth­ers with your social media friends. My other arti­cles are:
Trump, the Church and Immi­gra­tion
The “Final Five” Show Us How It’s Done
The Left is Wrong About Rights
Ends, Means and Democ­rats
Don’t for­get to hit DaTip­Jar, and thanks for your support!


A note from DaT­e­chGuy: I hope you enjoyed Tech Knight’s piece. Remem­ber we will be judg­ing the entries in Da Mag­nif­i­cent try­outs by hits both to their post and to DaTip­Jar. So if you like Tech Knight’s work, please con­sider shar­ing this post, and if you hit DaTip­jar because of it don’t for­get to men­tion Tech Knight’s post as the rea­son you did so.

Nor­mally i’d link to his pre­vi­ous pieces but he’s already taken care of that.

(If you can’t see DaTip­Jar but­ton below on their posts use the one on the 2nd col­umn on the right)




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My teenage daughter is obsessed with Hamilton, the musical that has taken Broadway by storm. Not being a fan of rap music, I was not particularly interested in listening to the soundtrack, but seeing my daughter’s reaction to it made me more than a little curious. We recently had occasion to spend quite a bit of commuting time in the car together and, since she had the music on her phone, the show’s soundtrack became the soundtrack of our drives. It’s easy to see why the show has become so popular, and a show that can save Alexander Hamilton’s place on the $10 bill and increase the appreciation people have for our Founding Fathers can’t be a bad thing, no matter how much rap it contains (and fortunately there is plenty of other styles of music that I found quite compelling). I was equally impressed with my daughter’s ability to sing along with the cast (sometimes mixing multiple parts, which was amazing) with her inserted commentary about the political and military background of the events depicted, even pointing out the historical inaccuracies in the script! Clearly she’s been learning more than just the lyrics. But there was one lesson in particular I wanted her to learn from the show, and it is one that Hamilton and his wife, Eliza, learned the hard way. CAUTION: Mild Spoilers ahead.

When my wife and I were engaged, we went through a multi-week Marriage Preparation program with our pastor, whom I’ll call “Father N.” One part of the program called for us each to fill out a questionnaire to determine if we had similar attitudes about different aspecs of marriage, from Faith to finances, family and even fidelity. One question in particular stood out: “Are there any circumstances under which you might choose to get a divorce?”

My bride and I had actually spoken about this in advance and both made it clear that infidelity would be a dealbreaker, so we both answered “yes” to the question. When evaluating our results, Father N pointed to that as the only problem with our answers. He said that in answering “yes” to that question, we were giving ourselves an “out,” which contradicts the Catholic view of marriage. Even though we had only one serious condition in mind, the idea that there could be one thing that would end our marriage could lead us to consider other lesser offenses to somehow rise to that level. In giving ourselves an out, we would have been entering our marriage without understanding what we were really doing. Unfortunately, too many couples in our society today lack that understanding and think that it’s OK to abandon their marriage for far more trivial reasons.

That was not true in Hamilton’s time, and the musical shows us this. Whether through faith or through fear of scandal, even when Hamilton’s infidelity comes to light, he and Eliza stay married, as difficult as that is. In “Burn,” Eliza makes her feelings clear:

You forfeit all rights to my heart
You forfeit the place in our bed
You sleep in your office instead

Recognizing that he is at fault, Hamilton refuses to give up. In “It’s Quiet Uptown,” he rekindles his Faith and does his best to win Eliza’s heart again:

I take the children to church on Sunday
A sign of the cross at the door
And I pray
That never used to happen before

It is his steadfastness, especially in facing the death of their son Philip, that they eventually experience “a grace too powerful to name” and she eventually forgives him:

Alexander by Eliza’s side
She takes his hand

After his untimely death, Eliza rededicates her life to continuing his legacy as best she can:

The Lord, in his kindness
He gives me what you always wanted
He gives me more / Time

She raises money for the Washington Monument, speaks out against slavery and, most telling, establishes the first private orphanage in New York City and helps raise hundreds of children, saying “In their eyes, I see you, Alexander.” Finally, she expresses her belief that she will see him again, in time.

Maybe in addition to learning about our nation’s founding, fans of Hamilton will also learn the true spirit of commitment, love and forgiveness inherent in marriage. Wouldn’t that be something?

A note to readers: It’s getting down to “crunch time” for Da Magnificent Prospects, so I’d really appreciate it if you could share this article and my others with your social media friends. My other articles are:
Trump, the Church and Immigration
The “Final Five” Show Us How It’s Done
The Left is Wrong About Rights
Ends, Means and Democrats
Don’t forget to hit DaTipJar, and thanks for your support!


A note from DaTechGuy: I hope you enjoyed Tech Knight’s piece. Remember we will be judging the entries in Da Magnificent tryouts by hits both to their post and to DaTipJar. So if you like Tech Knight’s work, please consider sharing this post, and if you hit DaTipjar because of it don’t forget to mention Tech Knight’s post as the reason you did so.

Normally i’d link to his previous pieces but he’s already taken care of that.

(If you can’t see DaTipJar button below on their posts use the one on the 2nd column on the right)




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Please consider Subscribing. If less than 1/3 of 1% of our readers subscribed at $10 a month we’d have the 114.5 subscribers needed to our annual goal all year without solicitation.

Plus of course all subscribers get my weekly podcast emailed directly to you before it goes up anywhere else.


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