That open-floor design hates males

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That open-floor design hates males

openfloorplanLook at any list­ing for a mod­ern house. I’m will­ing to bet that two things are present:

  1. An open floor plan, mean­ing that on the base level, one room opens into another.
  2. Almost all list­ings will have mul­ti­ple pic­tures of the kitchen and almost no pic­tures of the garage.

kitchenThat’s a nice kitchen…but what about the smok­ing room?

The mod­ern home list­ing is, frankly, very sexist.

Think about it. In almost every fam­ily I’ve seen, while both hus­band and wife cook, the wife orga­nizes and runs the kitchen. If you don’t believe that, try (as a man) to reor­ga­nize your kitchen. Most women will have a seri­ous issue with that. I know my wife did when I tried to clean up numer­ous draw­ers in our kitchen recently.

The open floor plan is ter­ri­bly detri­men­tal to men. For most men, if they get over­whelmed, they have to with­draw to a pri­vate space to gather their thoughts and de-​stress. Try doing that in an open floor plan. Essen­tially, I’d have to lock myself in my bed­room, which I (like most) share with my wife.

Com­pli­cate this with the desire by many women to kick men’s hob­bies out of the home and into the most unde­sir­able rooms like the garage and base­ment. I see most guys hang­ing out in the garage because that is the only place they can store their hobby. Per­son­ally, I think garages are unheated stor­age for cars, not your quiet space.

garageAlthough if your garage looked like this and had an easy chair, it might not be so bad

The aver­age guy today is prob­a­bly told by his father that his house is his cas­tle. He also prob­a­bly doesn’t feel like that, at least in today’s world.

Layer on top of this:

  • That more men come from fam­i­lies bro­ken by divorce, or in many cases a cohab­i­tat­ing cou­ple that later splits, and lacks a good male role model
  • That soci­ety con­tin­ues to change the bar for men, so it’s hard to define what is “good”

  • That all-​male or predominantly-​male insti­tu­tions, includ­ing our veteran’s groups and church groups, are increas­ingly in decline

  • That our stag­nant econ­omy makes it hard to get a job, which is a crit­i­cal expec­ta­tion of men

  • and we shouldn’t be sur­prised that young men still com­mit sui­cide more often than women and have a lower life expectancy.

    We’ve setup a sys­tem that doesn’t inspire cre­ation of good fam­ily men. It’s caused more than a few to go on strike, and sin­gle, angry, unem­ployed men don’t work well for any gov­ern­ment (just ask Tunisia). The anger may have con­tributed to many men switch­ing their votes to Trump this last elec­tion. It’s my hope that as the dust set­tles, we as a soci­ety take a seri­ous look at what expec­ta­tions we place on our young men.


    This post is the work of the author and does not rep­re­sent any other organization’s views. And yes, rear­rang­ing things in your kitchen is a good way to stir up mar­i­tal strife, so pro­ceed with cau­tion!


    Check out my blog when you get a chance, and drop a tip in Da Tip Jar!

    openfloorplanLook at any listing for a modern house. I’m willing to bet that two things are present:

    1. An open floor plan, meaning that on the base level, one room opens into another.
    2. Almost all listings will have multiple pictures of the kitchen and almost no pictures of the garage.

    kitchenThat’s a nice kitchen…but what about the smoking room?

    The modern home listing is, frankly, very sexist.

    Think about it. In almost every family I’ve seen, while both husband and wife cook, the wife organizes and runs the kitchen. If you don’t believe that, try (as a man) to reorganize your kitchen. Most women will have a serious issue with that. I know my wife did when I tried to clean up numerous drawers in our kitchen recently.

    The open floor plan is terribly detrimental to men. For most men, if they get overwhelmed, they have to withdraw to a private space to gather their thoughts and de-stress. Try doing that in an open floor plan. Essentially, I’d have to lock myself in my bedroom, which I (like most) share with my wife.

    Complicate this with the desire by many women to kick men’s hobbies out of the home and into the most undesirable rooms like the garage and basement. I see most guys hanging out in the garage because that is the only place they can store their hobby. Personally, I think garages are unheated storage for cars, not your quiet space.

    garageAlthough if your garage looked like this and had an easy chair, it might not be so bad

    The average guy today is probably told by his father that his house is his castle. He also probably doesn’t feel like that, at least in today’s world.

    Layer on top of this:

    • That more men come from families broken by divorce, or in many cases a cohabitating couple that later splits, and lacks a good male role model
  • That society continues to change the bar for men, so it’s hard to define what is “good”

  • That all-male or predominantly-male institutions, including our veteran’s groups and church groups, are increasingly in decline

  • That our stagnant economy makes it hard to get a job, which is a critical expectation of men

  • and we shouldn’t be surprised that young men still commit suicide more often than women and have a lower life expectancy.

    We’ve setup a system that doesn’t inspire creation of good family men. It’s caused more than a few to go on strike, and single, angry, unemployed men don’t work well for any government (just ask Tunisia). The anger may have contributed to many men switching their votes to Trump this last election. It’s my hope that as the dust settles, we as a society take a serious look at what expectations we place on our young men.


    This post is the work of the author and does not represent any other organization’s views. And yes, rearranging things in your kitchen is a good way to stir up marital strife, so proceed with caution!


    Check out my blog when you get a chance, and drop a tip in Da Tip Jar!