But deliver us from the media, amen

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But deliver us from the media, amen

Health care. Rus­sia. Travel ban. Wire­tap­ping. Bud­get cuts. Leaks. And on and on and on.

Work up a lather, rinse, repeat.

O Lord, grant me relief from the end­less cycle of “news” based on the pos­si­bly informed insights, half-​truths, pure spec­u­la­tion and out­right lies that pass as jour­nal­ism these days.

Never has so much blather been spent on issues that are no more real than uni­corn dust or three-​legged Mar­tians. Talk about Russia’s links to the 2016 elec­tion or ille­gal wire­tap­ping is ridicu­lous until the probes are done. Fury or relief over health care changes is silly until the leg­is­la­tion gets through the sausage fac­tory known as Con­gress. Same with the budget.

As for the travel ban, its out­come is uncer­tain until it finally gets out of the hands of judges who don’t under­stand exec­u­tive author­ity and con­fuse cam­paign speeches with the word­ing of legal action.

You want solid infor­ma­tion? You’re bet­ter off these days spend­ing time on Pin­ter­est projects or fol­low­ing some nobody’s Twit­ter account.

The prob­lem is, out­side of Don­ald Trump, news is impos­si­ble. It doesn’t hap­pen any­more. He hasn’t just sucked up all the air in the room — he’s inhaled the Earth’s entire atmos­phere. If any­thing that doesn’t involve the Prez is going on, it’s not get­ting a dab of ink, a dig­i­tal pixel or a moment of airtime.

It’s all so boring.

When I was a young man, the idea of a 24-​hour news chan­nel seemed like a dream. Most peo­ple had only three options for national and global news — CBS, NBC and ABC — and they pro­vided just 22 min­utes a day. As a Detroit sub­ur­ban­ite, I could watch Cana­dian news, which offered a broader out­look on the world. I could only imag­ine what vis­tas a day­long news sta­tion would open up.

Ted Turner once con­sid­ered news a joke. When the feds told him to add a news pro­gram to Atlanta’s WTBS to ful­fill its pub­lic ser­vice require­ments, he put a dog on the air along­side a human anchor. But after TBS became a hit on cable sys­tems, Turner fig­ured he could make more bucks with an all-​news chan­nel. Thus was born CNN.

From the start, CNN was a dis­ap­point­ment, offer­ing rep­e­ti­tious reports on easy-​to-​cover news. Soon enough came the parade of talk­ing heads to tell us what the news really meant. Gee wil­lik­ers! Instead of being bored every Sun­day morn­ing with Meet the Press or Face the Nation, we got a chance to hear puffed-​up pun­dits seven days a week.

My hopes rose briefly when MSNBC came along in 1996; at the time, thanks mainly to David Brink­ley, NBC’s news oper­a­tion was respectable. But MSNBC fol­lowed CNN’s tem­plate from the start and never dis­tin­guished itself until trans­mut­ing into a lunatic asy­lum for deranged leftists.

By the time Fox News came along, the mold for 24-​hour news had become unbreak­able. But at least we finally got news that the other chan­nels ignored, plus some con­ser­v­a­tive viewpoints.

The basic prob­lem is all three news chan­nels are obsessed by imme­di­acy instead of con­text. Got a wild­fire in Cal­i­for­nia, snow­storm in New York or school shoot­ing in Col­orado? Brace your­self for the wall-​to-​wall cov­er­age. The net­works are like a dog with a bone that keeps gnaw­ing away long after the last shred of meat is gone.

Yes, at times, the net­works have pro­vided a tremen­dous ser­vice. CNN earned its stripes with its Gulf War report­ing, and all three chan­nels were invalu­able on Sept. 11, 2001.

But the ten­dency to dwell on a sin­gle topic above all else is worse than ever today. CNN and MSNBC are hell­bent on destroy­ing Trump, and Fox is ded­i­cated (sort of) to pro­tect­ing him. The cov­er­age has been going on non­stop since Nov. 9, and I’m done in by fatigue. Maybe you are, too.

But it has to end some­time, prefer­ably soon. Because I have a tip for the news net­works: Trump ain’t going any­where, so get used to him.

Health care. Russia. Travel ban. Wiretapping. Budget cuts. Leaks. And on and on and on.

Work up a lather, rinse, repeat.

O Lord, grant me relief from the endless cycle of “news” based on the possibly informed insights, half-truths, pure speculation and outright lies that pass as journalism these days.

Never has so much blather been spent on issues that are no more real than unicorn dust or three-legged Martians. Talk about Russia’s links to the 2016 election or illegal wiretapping is ridiculous until the probes are done. Fury or relief over health care changes is silly until the legislation gets through the sausage factory known as Congress. Same with the budget.

As for the travel ban, its outcome is uncertain until it finally gets out of the hands of judges who don’t understand executive authority and confuse campaign speeches with the wording of legal action.

You want solid information? You’re better off these days spending time on Pinterest projects or following some nobody’s Twitter account.

The problem is, outside of Donald Trump, news is impossible. It doesn’t happen anymore. He hasn’t just sucked up all the air in the room — he’s inhaled the Earth’s entire atmosphere. If anything that doesn’t involve the Prez is going on, it’s not getting a dab of ink, a digital pixel or a moment of airtime.

It’s all so boring.

When I was a young man, the idea of a 24-hour news channel seemed like a dream. Most people had only three options for national and global news — CBS, NBC and ABC — and they provided just 22 minutes a day. As a Detroit suburbanite, I could watch Canadian news, which offered a broader outlook on the world. I could only imagine what vistas a daylong news station would open up.

Ted Turner once considered news a joke. When the feds told him to add a news program to Atlanta’s WTBS to fulfill its public service requirements, he put a dog on the air alongside a human anchor. But after TBS became a hit on cable systems, Turner figured he could make more bucks with an all-news channel. Thus was born CNN.

From the start, CNN was a disappointment, offering repetitious reports on easy-to-cover news. Soon enough came the parade of talking heads to tell us what the news really meant. Gee willikers! Instead of being bored every Sunday morning with Meet the Press or Face the Nation, we got a chance to hear puffed-up pundits seven days a week.

My hopes rose briefly when MSNBC came along in 1996; at the time, thanks mainly to David Brinkley, NBC’s news operation was respectable. But MSNBC followed CNN’s template from the start and never distinguished itself until transmuting into a lunatic asylum for deranged leftists.

By the time Fox News came along, the mold for 24-hour news had become unbreakable. But at least we finally got news that the other channels ignored, plus some conservative viewpoints.

The basic problem is all three news channels are obsessed by immediacy instead of context. Got a wildfire in California, snowstorm in New York or school shooting in Colorado? Brace yourself for the wall-to-wall coverage. The networks are like a dog with a bone that keeps gnawing away long after the last shred of meat is gone.

Yes, at times, the networks have provided a tremendous service. CNN earned its stripes with its Gulf War reporting, and all three channels were invaluable on Sept. 11, 2001.

But the tendency to dwell on a single topic above all else is worse than ever today. CNN and MSNBC are hellbent on destroying Trump, and Fox is dedicated (sort of) to protecting him. The coverage has been going on nonstop since Nov. 9, and I’m done in by fatigue. Maybe you are, too.

But it has to end sometime, preferably soon. Because I have a tip for the news networks:  Trump ain’t going anywhere, so get used to him.