How People Respond to Others When Self is the Focus

by baldilocks

Some amateur shrinking

“How dare you…!”
— Often said when a person “dares” to say or do something that another doesn’t like.

“I don’t appreciate…!”
— Said as if the receiver is supposed to have appreciation for whatever the speaker/actor is saying or doing.

“You are arrogant!”
— Often true, but just as often, an indication of the intellectual insecurity of the accuser who feels threatened by the confidence of the accused.

“Don’t judge me!”
— Said when a person does not want to examine his/her actions and wants shame you into not doing so also; often an intentional misinterpretation/intentional of Jesus’ admonition regarding judgment.

“I am offended by that!”
— Too often, said when no offense was intended; too often, stemming from looking at everything through the prism of self, by inferring things not implied. Though giving offense is sometimes inadvertent, taking offense is always a choice.



“I voted for [insert candidate here] because he/she is the same race/same gender as I am, and it makes me feel good to see someone who looks like I do/has the same equipment that I have.”
— Self-…ahem…explanatory.

Even more?


After an honest question is asked…

“If you’re going to play naïve about this administration and the ongoing inquiry, I don’t feel I owe you any kind of rational response. It’s just bait into a semantics-ridden debate.”

— Said when the person wants to hide the fact that he can’t answer the question and is ashamed of that inability. It’s easier to attempt to deflect that shame onto the questioner. The phrase “play naïve,” and the words “feel” and “owe” are the giveaways.

Originally posted on December 28, 2013. Some additions to the original post.

Juliette Akinyi Ochieng blogs at baldilocks. (Her older blog is located here.) Her first novel, Tale of the Tigers: Love is Not a Game, was published in 2012. Her second novel tentatively titled Arlen’s Harem, will be done one day soon! Follow her on Twitter and on

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