How People Respond to Others When Self is the Focus

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How People Respond to Others When Self is the Focus

by baldilocks

Some ama­teur shrinking

How dare you…!“
– Often said when a per­son “dares” to say or do some­thing that another doesn’t like.

I don’t appre­ci­ate…!“
– Said as if the receiver is sup­posed to have appre­ci­a­tion for what­ever the speaker/​actor is say­ing or doing.

You are arro­gant!“
– Often true, but just as often, an indi­ca­tion of the intel­lec­tual inse­cu­rity of the accuser who feels threat­ened by the con­fi­dence of the accused.

Don’t judge me!“
– Said when a per­son does not want to exam­ine his/​her actions and wants shame you into not doing so also; often an inten­tional misinterpretation/​intentional of Jesus’ admo­ni­tion regard­ing judg­ment.

I am offended by that!“
– Too often, said when no offense was intended; too often, stem­ming from look­ing at every­thing through the prism of self, by infer­ring things not implied. Though giv­ing offense is some­times inad­ver­tent, tak­ing offense is always a choice.

More?

MORE:

I voted for [insert can­di­date here] because he/​she is the same race/​same gen­der as I am, and it makes me feel good to see some­one who looks like I do/​has the same equip­ment that I have.“
– Self-…ahem…explanatory.

Even more?

EVEN MORE:

After an hon­est ques­tion is asked…

If you’re going to play naïve about this admin­is­tra­tion and the ongo­ing inquiry, I don’t feel I owe you any kind of ratio­nal response. It’s just bait into a semantics-​ridden debate.”

– Said when the per­son wants to hide the fact that he can’t answer the ques­tion and is ashamed of that inabil­ity. It’s eas­ier to attempt to deflect that shame onto the ques­tioner. The phrase “play naïve,” and the words “feel” and “owe” are the giveaways.

Orig­i­nally posted on Decem­ber 28, 2013. Some addi­tions to the orig­i­nal post.

Juli­ette Akinyi Ochieng blogs at baldilocks. (Her older blog is located here.) Her first novel, Tale of the Tigers: Love is Not a Game, was pub­lished in 2012. Her sec­ond novel ten­ta­tively titled Arlen’s Harem, will be done one day soon! Fol­low her on Twit­ter and on Gab​.ai.

Please con­tribute to Juliette’s JOB: Her new novel, her blog, her Inter­net to keep the lat­ter going and COF­FEE to keep her going!

Or hit Da Tech Guy’s Tip Jar in the name of Inde­pen­dent Journalism!

by baldilocks

Some amateur shrinking

“How dare you…!”
— Often said when a person “dares” to say or do something that another doesn’t like.

“I don’t appreciate…!”
— Said as if the receiver is supposed to have appreciation for whatever the speaker/actor is saying or doing.

“You are arrogant!”
— Often true, but just as often, an indication of the intellectual insecurity of the accuser who feels threatened by the confidence of the accused.

“Don’t judge me!”
— Said when a person does not want to examine his/her actions and wants shame you into not doing so also; often an intentional misinterpretation/intentional of Jesus’ admonition regarding judgment.

“I am offended by that!”
— Too often, said when no offense was intended; too often, stemming from looking at everything through the prism of self, by inferring things not implied. Though giving offense is sometimes inadvertent, taking offense is always a choice.

More?

MORE:

“I voted for [insert candidate here] because he/she is the same race/same gender as I am, and it makes me feel good to see someone who looks like I do/has the same equipment that I have.”
— Self-…ahem…explanatory.

Even more?

EVEN MORE:

After an honest question is asked…

“If you’re going to play naïve about this administration and the ongoing inquiry, I don’t feel I owe you any kind of rational response. It’s just bait into a semantics-ridden debate.”

— Said when the person wants to hide the fact that he can’t answer the question and is ashamed of that inability. It’s easier to attempt to deflect that shame onto the questioner. The phrase “play naïve,” and the words “feel” and “owe” are the giveaways.

Originally posted on December 28, 2013. Some additions to the original post.

Juliette Akinyi Ochieng blogs at baldilocks. (Her older blog is located here.) Her first novel, Tale of the Tigers: Love is Not a Game, was published in 2012. Her second novel tentatively titled Arlen’s Harem, will be done one day soon! Follow her on Twitter and on Gab.ai.

Please contribute to Juliette’s JOB:  Her new novel, her blog, her Internet to keep the latter going and COFFEE to keep her going!

Or hit Da Tech Guy’s Tip Jar in the name of Independent Journalism!