30 Tips to Stay Married 30 Years: Set Limits Early

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30 Tips to Stay Married 30 Years: Set Limits Early

This one is very hard.

There are cer­tain things that are impor­tant to indi­vid­u­als for what­ever rea­son, either they value them or they hate them with a passion.

These things develop over our youth and by the time we’re get­ting mar­ried they are ingrained, some­times to a degree where we think Of COURSE every­one feels the same way.

It can be a thing as sim­ple as putting pans away a cer­tain way or as com­pli­cated as an annual pil­grim­age. With my brother Tony it was clothes, he told his wife to be in no uncer­tain clothes that nobody washed clothes but him, but what­ever it is, you need to dis­cuss it with your fiancée /​wife/​husband. Before mar­riage is best but if you wait till after the nup­tials do it quick.

The sooner these lim­its are set the less likely they will fes­ter into resent­ment and if for some rea­son this con­tra­dicts some­thing impor­tant to your spouse it’s best to get it out there early while still in the throes of the enchant­ment of new mar­riage when you are likely to resolve it, than to have it out when that fac­tor is no longer there and you’ve had years of silence breed­ing resent­ment that will burst out when you’re angry.

It will pay off in the long run, my brother Tony will be mar­ried 48 years all of which involved him doing the laun­dry to his wife’s delight.

Pre­vi­ously in 30 tips to stay mar­ried 30 years:

Tip 1: Choose Wisely
Tip 2: A long Engage­ment
Tip 3: Get Mar­ried in Church
Tip 4: Don’t write your own vows.

This one is very hard.

There are certain things that are important to individuals for whatever reason, either they value them or they hate them with a passion.

These things develop over our youth and by the time we’re getting married they are ingrained, sometimes to a degree where we think Of COURSE everyone feels the same way.

It can be a thing as simple as putting pans away a certain way or as complicated as an annual pilgrimage. With my brother Tony it was clothes, he told his wife to be in no uncertain clothes that nobody washed clothes but him, but whatever it is, you need to discuss it with your fiancée /wife/husband. Before marriage is best but if you wait till after the nuptials do it quick.

The sooner these limits are set the less likely they will fester into resentment and if for some reason this contradicts something important to your spouse it’s best to get it out there early while still in the throes of the enchantment of new marriage when you are likely to resolve it, than to have it out when that factor is no longer there and you’ve had years of silence breeding resentment that will burst out when you’re angry.

It will pay off in the long run, my brother Tony will be married 48 years all of which involved him doing the laundry to his wife’s delight.

Previously in 30 tips to stay married 30 years:

Tip 1:  Choose Wisely
Tip 2: A long Engagement
Tip 3: Get Married in Church
Tip 4: Don’t write your own vows.