30 Tips to Stay Married 30 Years: Today’s Tip Avoid Temptation and Suspicion

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30 Tips to Stay Married 30 Years: Today's Tip Avoid Temptation and Suspicion

Kather­ine McLin­tock: Oh con­grat­u­la­tions I don’t want to seem prud­ish but if you are going to be mar­ry­ing sher­iff Lord you seem to be sit­ting on the wrong man’s lap.

McK­lin­tok! 1963

I’m Mar­ried not Dead

My dad, on many occasions

When Mike Pence was first men­tioned as a pos­si­ble vice pres­i­den­tial can­di­date he was teased an awful lot for hav­ing a rule that he would not go to din­ner or be alone with another woman behind a closed-​door.

In the #metoo era this sound an awful lot like sage advice but in real­ity it is apply­ing a basic truth about men and women. Men are bio­log­i­cally pro­grams to notice and pur­sue women and that bio­log­i­cal urgency doesn’t mag­i­cally dis­ap­pear with a wed­ding vow. This not only explains the temp­ta­tions of a man but the sus­pi­cions a man might have because he KNOWS that vow is not likely to dis­suade all men from perus­ing his woman.

Fur­ther­more the same bio­log­i­cal pro­gram­ing that causes men to pur­sue causes women to both make an effort to be attrac­tive to men AND to one a mate is cho­sen to be sus­pi­cious of other women with him.

While there are of course in a pop­u­la­tion of bil­lions excep­tions these are the bio­log­i­cal facts and the abil­ity of peo­ple to resist the prompt­ing of evo­lu­tion­ary biol­ogy vary from per­son to person.

How­ever there is one very sim­ple way to avoid this prob­lem, and that’s avoid­ing the sit­u­a­tion and occa­sions where temp­ta­tion is present.

Did a mem­ber of the oppo­site sex from work invite you to din­ner or lunch alone, decline politely or ask if a friend cam come. Going to an event with­out daspouse where pick­ups might be expected. Bring a wing­man or woman who will keep you hon­est (as opposed to one who will make excuses) or bring the kids if pos­si­ble. Do you know your spouse is the jeal­ous type, dodge sit­u­a­tions that would trig­ger said jealously.

Use these three gen­eral rules:

If a sit­u­a­tion is one that YOU would be jeal­ous or sus­pi­cious of if your spouse was doing it, odds are you should give it a miss.

If you know that you are weak or attracted to a par­tic­u­lar per­son who is get­ting too close either avoid said per­son or bring up your spouse when­ever pos­si­ble in con­ver­sa­tion. That is a very strong sig­nal that you are not on the market.

If you are going sup­posed to be at an event with­out your spouse which mixes the oppo­site sex with booze or legal (or ille­gal) drugs just say no to it.

Bot­tom line Temp­ta­tion is a lot eas­ier to deal with if you just dodge it and sus­pi­cion is a lot less likely to take place if your spouse sees you avoid­ing these situation.

Mike Pence has been mar­ried a long time, fol­low this tips and you’re more likely to be as well.

Pre­vi­ously in 30 tips to Stay Mar­ried 30 Years

Tip 1: Choose Wisely
Tip 2: A long Engage­ment
Tip 3: Get Mar­ried in Church
Tip 4: Don’t write your own vows.
Tip 5: Set lim­its early
Tip 6: Live Mod­estly
Tip 7: Embrace Your Mother-​In-​Law
Tip 8: If pos­si­ble take advan­tage of your parent’s advice.
Tip 9: Don’t Diss your spouse to your friends
Tip 10: Remem­ber Birthday’s and Anniver­saries
Tip 11: 30 Tips to Stay Mar­ried 30 Years Today: NEVER VENT ON SOCIAL MEDIA!
Tip 12: 30 Tips to stay Mar­ried 30 years Today’s Tip: Pray
Tip 13: Angry Gifts
Tip 14: Don’t sweat the Small stuff
Tip 15: 30 Tips to Stay Mar­ried 30 Years, Today: Care­fully Choose the Hills Worth Dying On

Katherine McLintock: Oh congratulations I don’t want to seem prudish but if you are going to be marrying sheriff Lord you seem to be sitting on the wrong man’s lap.

McKlintok! 1963

I’m Married not Dead

My dad, on many occasions

When Mike Pence was first mentioned as a possible vice presidential candidate he was teased an awful lot for having a rule that he would not go to dinner or be alone with another woman behind a closed-door.

In the #metoo era this sound an awful lot like sage advice but in reality it is applying a basic truth about men and women. Men are biologically programs to notice and pursue women and that biological urgency doesn’t magically disappear with a wedding vow. This not only explains the temptations of a man but the suspicions a man might have because he KNOWS that vow is not likely to dissuade all men from perusing his woman.

Furthermore the same biological programing that causes men to pursue causes women to both make an effort to be attractive to men AND to one a mate is chosen to be suspicious of other women with him.

While there are of course in a population of billions exceptions these are the biological facts and the ability of people to resist the prompting of evolutionary biology vary from person to person.

However there is one very simple way to avoid this problem, and that’s avoiding the situation and occasions where temptation is present.

Did a member of the opposite sex from work invite you to dinner or lunch alone, decline politely or ask if a friend cam come. Going to an event without daspouse where pickups might be expected. Bring a wingman or woman who will keep you honest (as opposed to one who will make excuses) or bring the kids if possible. Do you know your spouse is the jealous type, dodge situations that would trigger said jealously.

Use these three general rules:

If a situation is one that YOU would be jealous or suspicious of if your spouse was doing it, odds are you should give it a miss.

If you know that you are weak or attracted to a particular person who is getting too close either avoid said person or bring up your spouse whenever possible in conversation. That is a very strong signal that you are not on the market.

If you are going supposed to be at an event without your spouse which mixes the opposite sex with booze or legal (or illegal) drugs just say no to it.

Bottom line Temptation is a lot easier to deal with if you just dodge it and suspicion is a lot less likely to take place if your spouse sees you avoiding these situation.

Mike Pence has been married a long time, follow this tips and you’re more likely to be as well.

Previously in 30 tips to Stay Married 30 Years

Tip 1:  Choose Wisely
Tip 2: A long Engagement
Tip 3: Get Married in Church
Tip 4: Don’t write your own vows.
Tip 5: Set limits early
Tip 6: Live Modestly
Tip 7: Embrace Your Mother-In-Law
Tip 8: If possible take advantage of your parent’s advice.
Tip 9: Don’t Diss your spouse to your friends
Tip 10: Remember Birthday’s and Anniversaries
Tip 11: 30 Tips to Stay Married 30 Years Today: NEVER VENT ON SOCIAL MEDIA!
Tip 12: 30 Tips to stay Married 30 years Today’s Tip: Pray
Tip 13: Angry Gifts
Tip 14: Don’t sweat the Small stuff
Tip 15: 30 Tips to Stay Married 30 Years, Today: Carefully Choose the Hills Worth Dying On