30 Tips to Stay Married 30 Years Have an Argument Escape Plan (and or let your spouse use their’s)

by Datechguy | March 27th, 2018

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30 Tips to Stay Married 30 Years Have an Argument Escape Plan (and or let your spouse use their's)

Peter and Val, a bit of advice, when you get into a fight, don’t throw the expen­sive stuff.

My Pal Roger on our wed­ding video. April 9th 1988

The last sev­eral tips have been about argu­ments and dis­agree­ments and this one is for when you are get­ting deep into an argument.

There comes a time in an argu­ment when you real­ize that there is noth­ing you can say to avoid it, defuse it or to calm down the per­son you are with. Some times a fight is just that bad.

When you reach that point you have two choices. Stay there and take it or get out of the line of fire.

While there are advan­tages to stay­ing there and tak­ing it (your spouse gets to vent) very often such a plan has one of two effects, both bad:

1. Your spouse pre­sumes that you have “tuned out” and gets angrier and angrier over it

2. You lose your tem­per and the the fight escalates

Nei­ther of these choices are con­du­sive to end­ing a fight. It’s at these moments that your best choice is sim­ply to leave for a time

Maybe there is a local water­ing hole that you enjoy, or a restau­rant for a bite or if you’re a gamer or comic guy there is always the local comic store, I always find a pin­ball machine a per­fect tool for vent­ing out frus­tra­tions. if you’re reli­gious there is your local church, if there is a Divine Mercy Chapel with 24 hour ado­ra­tion that’s an even bet­ter choice as you can’t do bet­ter than going directly to Christ in times of trouble.

Get­ting out have many advan­tages, you get to calm down, with­out some­one to strike back at your spouse even­tu­ally begins to lose the edge on their anger and once you are calm you now have the ini­ti­tive to make a move to dif­fuse the sit­u­a­tion even fur­ther. Once you’ve given your­self and your spouse time to regain your com­po­sure head on back (this is also a great sit­u­a­tion to use the “Angry Gifts” tip) if you really want to be cre­ative, call your spouse and invite them to a restau­rant they enjoy or to a movie they want to see, see if they can be ready to be picked up.

Remem­ber it’s all about mak­ing sure the fight ends quickly, hope­full that very night. Get­ting out gives every­one the chance to make that happen.

An impor­tant Caveat Do NOT fail to come home, if too long a time passes then the immag­i­na­tion starts to kick in and things can get worse (remem­ber the last tip about not gen­er­at­ing sus­pi­cion). In the end you are the best judge about how much time is too much and what the right time to talk again is.

Don’t worry about win­ning a fight, remem­ber when the fight ends every­body wins.

Tip 1: Choose Wisely
Tip 2: A long Engage­ment
Tip 3: Get Mar­ried in Church
Tip 4: Don’t write your own vows.
Tip 5: Set lim­its early
Tip 6: Live Mod­estly
Tip 7: Embrace Your Mother-​In-​Law
Tip 8: If pos­si­ble take advan­tage of your parent’s advice.
Tip 9: Don’t Diss your spouse to your friends
Tip 10: Remem­ber Birthday’s and Anniver­saries
Tip 11: 30 Tips to Stay Mar­ried 30 Years Today: NEVER VENT ON SOCIAL MEDIA!
Tip 12: 30 Tips to stay Mar­ried 30 years Today’s Tip: Pray
Tip 13: Angry Gifts
Tip 14: Don’t sweat the Small stuff
Tip 15: 30 Tips to Stay Mar­ried 30 Years, Today: Care­fully Choose the Hills Worth Dying On
Tip 16: 30 Tips to Stay Mar­ried 30 Years: Today’s Tip Avoid Temp­ta­tion and Suspicion

Peter and Val, a bit of advice, when you get into a fight, don’t throw the expensive stuff.

My Pal Roger on our wedding video. April 9th 1988

The last several tips have been about arguments and disagreements and this one is for when you are getting deep into an argument.

There comes a time in an argument when you realize that there is nothing you can say to avoid it, defuse it or to calm down the person you are with. Some times a fight is just that bad.

When you reach that point you have two choices. Stay there and take it or get out of the line of fire.

While there are advantages to staying there and taking it (your spouse gets to vent) very often such a plan has one of two effects, both bad:

1. Your spouse presumes that you have “tuned out” and gets angrier and angrier over it

2. You lose your temper and the the fight escalates

Neither of these choices are condusive to ending a fight. It’s at these moments that your best choice is simply to leave for a time

Maybe there is a local watering hole that you enjoy, or a restaurant for a bite or if you’re a gamer or comic guy there is always the local comic store, I always find a pinball machine a perfect tool for venting out frustrations. if you’re religious there is your local church, if there is a Divine Mercy Chapel with 24 hour adoration that’s an even better choice as you can’t do better than going directly to Christ in times of trouble.

Getting out have many advantages, you get to calm down, without someone to strike back at your spouse eventually begins to lose the edge on their anger and once you are calm you now have the inititive to make a move to diffuse the situation even further. Once you’ve given yourself and your spouse time to regain your composure head on back (this is also a great situation to use the “Angry Gifts” tip) if you really want to be creative, call your spouse and invite them to a restaurant they enjoy or to a movie they want to see, see if they can be ready to be picked up.

Remember it’s all about making sure the fight ends quickly, hopefull that very night. Getting out gives everyone the chance to make that happen.

An important Caveat Do NOT fail to come home, if too long a time passes then the immagination starts to kick in and things can get worse (remember the last tip about not generating suspicion). In the end you are the best judge about how much time is too much and what the right time to talk again is.

Don’t worry about winning a fight, remember when the fight ends everybody wins.

Tip 1:  Choose Wisely
Tip 2: A long Engagement
Tip 3: Get Married in Church
Tip 4: Don’t write your own vows.
Tip 5: Set limits early
Tip 6: Live Modestly
Tip 7: Embrace Your Mother-In-Law
Tip 8: If possible take advantage of your parent’s advice. 
Tip 9: Don’t Diss your spouse to your friends
Tip 10: Remember Birthday’s and Anniversaries
Tip 11: 30 Tips to Stay Married 30 Years Today: NEVER VENT ON SOCIAL MEDIA!
Tip 12: 30 Tips to stay Married 30 years Today’s Tip: Pray
Tip 13: Angry Gifts
Tip 14: Don’t sweat the Small stuff
Tip 15: 30 Tips to Stay Married 30 Years, Today: Carefully Choose the Hills Worth Dying On
Tip 16: 30 Tips to Stay Married 30 Years: Today’s Tip Avoid Temptation and Suspicion

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