King: Take it away, everyday the same thing. Variety! I want something different. Fix me Hasenpfeffer right away!
Shishkabugs (Bugs Bunny short cartoon) 1962
One of the things that is often mentioned as a problem in relationships is the same old thing. Our consumer society pushes the dread of the same old thing for the sake of selling and a lot of people find themselves spending a lot of money on junk because of it.
The same dread is often pushed in relationships today in movies and TV. The dread of the same old thing has been advanced to the point where people are making choices that are toxic for the long term health of a marriage.
The best way to avoid this problem? Maintain healthy surprise in a relationship. Here are a few ways of doing this that doesn’t involve risks that include catching the social disease of the day.
On a random day each month get your spouse a small gift. This doesn’t have to be anything big, a single flower, a six pack of beer, a little thing. If you regularly get a coffee, skip it one day and get something for daspouse. pick a day and that day use those few dollars to a little something for dawife or Dahusband.
And once every three months instead of the small thing do something slightly bigger, a small lunch, a movie.
And once a year instead of the small thing, do something bigger, a show, a fancier dinner, an overnight
This should be independent of regular birthdays and anniversaries and it should also be something that doesn’t break the bank. The real trick is to keep it random (I suggest using old D & D dice that you’ve put away years ago.
Again it isn’t the size of said gift, it’s the fact that it is completely unexpected that makes it special.
Now I’m sure many of you can come up with better ideas and schemes and naturally you will know your spouse better than me but as long as it’s a bit random and a bit of a surprise you will put an extra smile on your mate’s face and those extra smiles will add up to many years of happiness.
My 30 Tips so far
Tip 1: Choose Wisely
Tip 2: A long Engagement
Tip 3: Get Married in Church
Tip 4: Don’t write your own vows.
Tip 5: Set limits early
Tip 6: Live Modestly
Tip 7: Embrace Your Mother-In-Law
Tip 8: If possible take advantage of your parent’s advice.
Tip 9: Don’t Diss your spouse to your friends
Tip 10: Remember Birthday’s and Anniversaries
Tip 11: NEVER VENT ON SOCIAL MEDIA!
Tip 12: 30 Tips to stay Married 30 years Today’s Tip: Pray
Tip 13: Angry Gifts
Tip 14: Don’t sweat the Small stuff
Tip 15: Carefully Choose the Hills Worth Dying On
Tip 16: Avoid Temptation and Suspicion
Tip 17: Have an Argument Escape Plan (and or let your spouse use their’s)
Tip 18: Don’t spoil the kids, particularly early.
Tip 19: A United Front
Tip 20: Remember Marriage is work.