One might say that Starbucks is defecating on its own market share, but I hate going for the easy poop joke. Yes, I’m lying.
Seriously, it’s sad to watch as a thriving business dies, even when it Deserves to Die.TM Even when it is committing suicide.
The ever well meaning Starbucks chairman, Howie Schultz, more terrified of bad publicity and claims of racism than anything in the world, has just announced a rather customer-unfriendly policy of opening Starbucks bathrooms (as well as table space) to all comers, including people who won’t spring for a $4 cup of coffee. Speaking to the Atlantic Council, according to the Washington Post, Schultz said:
“We don’t want to become a public bathroom, but we’re going to make the right decision a hundred percent of the time and give people the key,” Schultz said, “because we don’t want anyone at Starbucks to feel as if we are not giving access to you to the bathroom because you are less than.” (…)
For those of us who do buy Starbucks coffee, we know what this policy change means: an open invitation to the homeless to bring in hepatitis, trash, used syringes, solicitations for spare change, and all the other detritus of their uncured condition to Starbucks bathrooms. The fact that Starbucks will be the only business with such a policy means that all of the homeless will concentrate in these outlets. Rival store-owners and social service agencies will actually direct the homeless to Starbucks outlets for the free services. Large groups will congregate, and tents will go up.
I have been guilty of using Starbucks’ free WiFi to check my email, but one usually doesn’t have to enter the business for that. Now I suspect that it will be difficult and unappealing to even get that close to any Starbucks.
But Monica thinks Schultz has a plan.
“One wonders if what Howie is really saying is that he intends to close outlets – in places where the homeless are concentrated. Is it that? It’s already well known that a Starbucks outlet’s presence correlates with rising real estate values. Perhaps Schultz means to concentrate that trend and will now keep his establishments in only rich areas with no social service outlets that draw the homeless. Maybe he knows something about a coming housing bust and its effect on real estate values.
If he’s going to do that, I bet wasn’t the original plan, but the fix after the disaster. And it’s a good plan, though I doubt that Schultz conjured it.
There’s a Starbucks within walking distance in my blue/white-collar multi-ethnic LA neighborhood . But Dunkin Donuts is closer, has WiFi, coffee, tastier doughnuts than Starbucks (duh), no homeless hanging out and seems to have a smarter CEO — or at least a less white- and rich-guilt plagued one.
And, before I walk to DDs, I use the bathroom facilities in my apartment. I know the janitorial crew for that one.
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