The Press, the CIA, and the FBI

Readability

The Press, the CIA, and the FBI

A jour­nal­ist, a CIA oper­a­tive, and an FBI agent walk into a bar.

Jour­nal­ist: Why are we hav­ing drinks? I hate you guys!

CIA oper­a­tive and FBI agent: Yep.

Jour­nal­ist: You made ille­gal record­ings of Mar­tin Luther King Jr. and threat­ened to make them public?

FBI agent: Yep

Jour­nal­ist: You launched coups in South Amer­ica, Cen­tral Amer­ica, Iran, and other places.

CIA oper­a­tive: Yep.

Jour­nal­ist: You tried to get the Mafia to kill Castro.

CIA oper­a­tive: Yep.

Jour­nal­ist: You gave weapons to Osama bin Laden and Sad­dam Hussein?

CIA oper­a­tive: Yep.

Jour­nal­ist: You killed dozens of peo­ple, includ­ing kids, at Waco.

FBI agent: Yep.

Jour­nal­ist: You both f***** up before and after 911.

CIA oper­a­tive: Yep.

FBI agent: Check.

Jour­nal­ist: You pro­vided bad intel on weapons of mass destruc­tion in Iraq.

CIA oper­a­tive: Yep.

Jour­nal­ist: You gave the elec­tion to Trump by inves­ti­gat­ing Hillary.

FBI agent: Yep.

Jour­nal­ist: Peo­ple at the FBI and and the CIA spied for Rus­sia, and it took you years to catch them. They cre­ated far more dam­age than any­thing the Mueller inves­ti­ga­tion might find.

CIA oper­a­tive: You mean Aldrich Ames? But we got him after 10 years!

FBI agent: You mean Robert Hanssen? He was only doing it for a lit­tle more than 10 years! Shucks.

CIA oper­a­tive: But who do you hate more?

FBI agent: Trump or us?

Jour­nal­ist: You’re right! Trump is worse than the CIA and the FBI com­bined! Can you guys pick up the check?

A journalist, a CIA operative, and an FBI agent walk into a bar.

Journalist: Why are we having drinks? I hate you guys!

CIA operative and FBI agent: Yep.

Journalist: You made illegal recordings of Martin Luther King Jr. and threatened to make them public?

FBI agent: Yep

Journalist: You launched coups in South America, Central America, Iran, and other places.

CIA operative: Yep.

Journalist: You tried to get the Mafia to kill Castro.

CIA operative: Yep.

Journalist: You gave weapons to Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein?

CIA operative: Yep.

Journalist: You killed dozens of people, including kids, at Waco.

FBI agent: Yep.

Journalist: You both f***** up before and after 9/11.

CIA operative: Yep.

FBI agent: Check.

Journalist: You provided bad intel on weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.

CIA operative: Yep.

Journalist: You gave the election to Trump by investigating Hillary.

FBI agent: Yep.

Journalist: People at the FBI and and the CIA spied for Russia, and it took you years to catch them. They created far more damage than anything the Mueller investigation might find.

CIA operative: You mean Aldrich Ames? But we got him after 10 years!

FBI agent: You mean Robert Hanssen? He was only doing it for a little more than 10 years! Shucks.

CIA operative: But who do you hate more?

FBI agent: Trump or us?

Journalist: You’re right! Trump is worse than the CIA and the FBI combined! Can you guys pick up the check?