Benjamin Franklin Advice to a Friend on Choosing a Mistress 1745 (the reasons for choosing an older mistress)
8thly and Lastly They are so grateful!!
Last week at church I noticed a family two rows ahead of me.
A pregnant looking mom was managing a group of five children aged about 3-13 with the help of their grandparents (OK grandma grandpa was paying attention to the mass) and at one point it got to be interesting as she had to retreat to the crying room with one of the children while Grandma seemed focused on a 2nd while the oldest boy tried to manage the rest.
When mass was over the grandma came over to me and apologized if the children were a distraction, I answered that not only were they not a distraction but I was envious of her large collection of grandchildren and full of admiration for the mother whose efforts to keep everything under control while making sure they all made mass, and I remarked that a parish full of young noisy children in large families was more likely to still be there in the future
That answer pleased her immensely as it was a throwback to the days of her youth when large families were a considered a blessing and a woman in her late thirties or forties was primarily admired and esteemed by the culture as a mother rather than judged her prospect as a sex object or in the parlance of today a MILF (you can look that up if you want).
Mrs. Lytle is a forty something mother of four and if she lived in the pre-sexual revolution culture would likely have been a person on the receiving end of respect and esteem from her peers for that fact. It takes a lot of effort to raise a child, to raise four children much more so. Furthermore (and this is a completely subjective statement) given those effort the fact that Ms. Lytle is based on the photos I’ve seen, is a still attractive woman would add to that self esteem.
But in the modern world that our so called “sexually liberated” culture has created, that isn’t enough. Furthermore the myth that “age is just a number” has been pushed relentlessly for decades now obscuring the fact that people age and change and that’s normal:
It’s one thing for an actress or a celebrity to appear in a movie or a talk show and look great with an army of makeup artists and costume managers maximizing her appearance for a short period of time. it’s another to wake up in the morning and look in the mirror and see the fact that is actually there. It’s all a myth to sell a narrative .
And it’s a myth that plays on human nature as well
When I was a young reporter, I once went to cover a school event and found myself talking to one of the parent volunteers. After a while, I got the somewhat uncomfortable feeling this 40-ish mom was flirtingwith me. And then it dawned on me that, back in the day, this woman was a real hot number — she still had a nice figure — and was accustomed to male attention. But now she was becoming invisible to men, and by paying attention to her (asking questions, seeking background information on the story I was covering), I had aroused her pleasure in being an object of male attention.
Ten years ago, before I’d had any kids and back when I was still in my mid 20s, I went to dinner with a friend who was in her 40s. Over far too many drinks and a large plate of nachos, she started telling me the truth about aging: “Some day, you will notice it’s been months since a man has hit on you. You will simply become invisible. It’s the death of your inner hot girl,” she said with a laugh.
I shook my head. No way. Never. Besides, this woman was gorgeous. She looked at least 10 years younger than she was. But she insisted: “It happened to me at 38.”
Last month, I turned 37, and at some point on my birthday, I also thought of her. We lost touch long ago, but along with remembering her easy smile and sense of humor, I realized something else: She was right. It had been a few months since I’d heard a cat call. Had I heard my last one and not even realized it?
I’m thinking that this woman had reached a crisis in her life, maybe her husband was less interested in her, maybe the catcalls had ceased and maybe she had always based her self worth on the attention of men and seeing that decrease and diminish needed to prove that she was still attractive and a sought out sexual commodity who can catch and please a member of the opposite sex and believe me if the bait is sex there is nothing easier in the world to catch and please than a fourteen year old boy, particularly one who has grown up in a age of pornography where scoring with your ‘friend’s hot mom” is a ubiquitous genre.
Furthermore based on the results of this search of the phrase “teach women not to rape” at Instapundit she’s not alone or an outlier. Go ahead and look at those entries. I hit “pagedown” 28 time before a got to the bottom of the FIRST page whose final entry was dated Feb of 2017 and was followed by three more pages dating to his 1st entry on the subject in 2014.
Most of the headlines on those pages would have been unthinkable when I was 15, now they are an internet meme. Six years ago Stacy McCain noting the story of a drunk 42 year old ex-nfl cheerleader hitting on a twelve year old said:
there was a time when the idea of ex-NFL cheerleaders stalking boys with offers of oral sex seemed equally far-fetched. Our society has already slid far down the slippery slope, and who knows when we’ll hit rock bottom?
At the time I replied:
This is how far we have come, or dropped as a society; from a point where the desire for sex by men was motivation to achieve in order to attract a wife to where women in the top tiers of sexual desirability are checking out pre-teens to satisfy their sexual needs.
And now this behavior has trickled down to the general population.
I suspect fifty or sixty years ago the restraints of culture combined with respect for motherhood might have kept Mrs. Lytle out of this situation, but alas she was born a generation after the 60’s and thus Mrs. Lytle, her family and those teenage boys instead will become yet another set of causalities of the left sexual revolution.