Some Life Advice For The Modern Age

I try to make these weekly blog posts something worth reading. Not that I am any great fountainhead of wisdom, believe me. However, I have picked up at least a few pearls during my multitude of orbits around the sun, and it is my blessed holy obligation to share with my fellow man what has been learned along the way. Here, then, is one you have perhaps heard before, but more than warrants once again bringing into the light:

Never read the comments.

To illustrate this point, below please watch and enjoy a video demonstrating the new Gibson acoustic guitar:

Video watched? Excellent. As even the non-guitar players should note, the guitar was well played in a variety of styles and detailed thoroughly.

At least one would think.

Until one reads the comments. Which I, being occasionally noble, have done so you will not have to subject yourself to the string of comments so mind-numbingly moronic the greatest question is how do these people so much as know how to get onto the Internet. A sample, with some being not exact quotes but rather compilations of different comments:

“How come these reviewers only tell you the good things about the guitar?”

Hmm … maybe because they’re selling them for a living and for some unfathomable reason trashing the product you’re trying to sell isn’t a good sales strategy?

“There’s too much playing! Show us what the guitar looks like!”

You mean like the dozen or more photos of the guitar taken from all angles that are on the store’s website?

“I don’t like how the guitar sounds.”

So don’t buy it. And we should care about your opinion why?

“She doesn’t know anything! She said the sides and back are made out of a different wood than they actually are!”

Maybe – oh, here’s a wild hare – someone gave her the wrong information?

“This is just an advertisement.”

So that’s why they made the video – to advertise a product they’re trying to sell! Brilliant deduction, Sherlock!

“They should always include the specs of the instrument!”

Of course … just like they’re all listed on the product page. (As an aside, this was taken from the fifth or so comment by the same guy snarking on this or that. Dude, the young woman ain’t going out with you, and you’re not getting her job at Sweetwater Music. So just stop.)

“I feel the nut on both guitars is cut too low on the treble side. When she plays open notes they ring badly because the are just a micro-hair too close to the first fret. The sound goes away when she frets. You could correct this two ways – cutting the nut properly if the fret is correct – or crowning the fret a bit lower if it is high.”

And you can tell that from a YouTube video. Riiiight …

Now, my favorite of the bunch:

“And madame, I enjoy your playing, but please fix your left hand technique before you literally hurt yourself”

Because obviously the young woman has no clue whatsoever about proper technique … which is why the leading online music retailer in the country has her on staff as an instructor.

Like I said, folks. Want to immediately improve your life? Simplicity itself.

Don’t read the comments.

PS: Bit of language, but this video in response to comments is too awesome not to share.