United employees forcibly drag a doctor off a plane.  American employees hit a mother of two across the face.  What in the heck is going on here?

Fluffy guidance, that’s what.

Airlines are in a heavily regulated industry, with rules upon rules.  Every time you fly, government regulations demand you hear the same ditty about lighted egress routes and oxygen bags, the excuse being that they save lives (although rear facing seats would be more effective).  In most cases, the rules tend to cover the circumstances.  But not always.

When rules hit a snag, employees do one of two things:

  1. Strictly enforce the rules.
  2. Use guidance to modify the rules and accomplish your end state.

But have you looked at corporate guidance lately?  It would be hard to do so for the airlines.  I tried and struggled to find anything publicly posted.  When I look at other companies, I find guidance, but it tends to be fluffy, using big words like “empowered” that don’t mean much when you’re dealing with irate customers.

The civilian side could take a lesson from the military.  Commanders are taught to issue guidance so that their subordinates will have principles to guide their actions when they face situations not covered by the rules.  A good example is Pacific Fleet, where the guidance fits on a sheet of paper but covers their mission, principles and what the end state should be.

Guidance gives employees flexibility.  United could have offered to boot four passengers and give them first class tickets on a follow-on flight.  It could have offered more than 800 dollars.  If employees knew that their CEO wanted passengers to be happy flying United, then an employee bending policy to accomplish that would be celebrated.  Guidance also gives employees a voice, because when established rules conflict with guidance, employees can and should point it out.  Overbooking makes it hard to keep people happy if you get bumped.  I’m willing to bet more than a few United employees have good ideas on how to prevent overbooking issues, although it’s doubtful they will be heard.

We have too many people claiming airlines haul people off because of profits.  Yes, that’s a motivation, but not the entire story.  I think it’s laziness on part of management.  Issuing iron-clad rules is easy, especially from a cushy office building.  Writing guidance so that your employees can navigate the difficult situations they face each day is much harder.


This post represents the views of the author and not those of the Department of Defense, Department of the Navy, United Airlines, American Airlines, or Disney.  I don’t have the training in force choking and hand to hand combat to properly represent any of those organizations.

If you enjoyed Darth Vader as a United Airlines employee, please check out my blog and donate to Da Tech Guy.

Before answering that question, it is essential to define exactly what rights are.  The only truly valid rights are God-given Natural Rights.  Thomas Jefferson articulated  the most accurate definition of a God-given Natural Right when he stated so eloquently in the Declaration of Independence:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness

These rights are granted to every single individual directly by God.  George Mason echoed these sentiments when he wrote the Virginia Declaration of Rights in  1776

SECTION I. That all men are by nature equally free and independent and have certain inherent rights, of which, when they enter into a state of society, they cannot, by any compact, deprive or divest their posterity; namely, the enjoyment of life and liberty, with the means of acquiring and possessing property, and pursuing and obtaining happiness and safety.

Liberty is second only to life when it comes to importance.  Here is how Thomas Jefferson described liberty in a letter to Isaac Tiffany

…rightful liberty is unobstructed action according to our will, within the limits drawn around us by the equal rights of others. I do not add ‘within the limits of the law’; because law is often but the tyrant’s will, and always so when it violates the right of an individual

I have always defined liberty as the freedom to do as you wish as long as you do not hurt others or interfere with the rights of others.  It is freedom with the responsibility to not harm others or infringe on the rights of others.  If someone harms another individual or interferes with the rights of another individual then government has the duty and moral obligation to step in, restrain, and punish the individual that caused the harm.   Governments at all levels must leave individuals alone if they do not hurt others.  A large percentage of the founding fathers of this nation believed the only legitimate functions of government are protecting the safety, property, and rights of individuals living in this country.  Forcing individuals to purchase health insurance and interfering in the healthcare marketplace through onerous regulations violates the liberty of individuals and businesses.

The freedom to acquire property, hold on to property, and use property as you wish, are also essential God-given Natural rights.  Income and wealth are both forms of property. The pursuit of happiness mentioned in the Declaration of Independence refers to acquiring,  holding, and using property.  If a government body seizes an individual’s property, or income, and redistributes it to another person, that is a violation of a God-given natural right.

Here is what John Locke, the primary influence for all of the framers of the Constitution, had to say on this subject in his Second Treatise on Government:

the supreme power cannot take from any man any part of his property without his own consent. For the preservation of property being the end of government, and that for which men enter into society, it necessarily supposes and requires that the people should have property, without which they must be supposed to lose that by entering into society which was the end for which they entered into it; too gross an absurdity for any man to own. Men, therefore, in society having property, they have such a right to the goods, which by the law of the community are theirs, that nobody hath a right to take them, or any part of them, from them without their own consent; without this they have no property at all.

John Adams agreed.  Here is what he had to say on this subject in “Defense of the Constitutions of of the Government of the United States:

The moment the idea is admitted into society, that property is not as sacred as the laws of God, and that there is not a force of law and public justice to protect it, anarchy and tyranny commence

Redistribution of wealth for charity and entitlements violates the United States Constitution.  Here are three quotes that proves this:

James Madison Annals of Congress, House of Representatives, 3rd Congress, 1st Session, page 170

I cannot undertake to lay my finger on that article of the Constitution which granted a right to Congress of expending, on objects of benevolence, the money of their constituents.

James Madison Speech before Congress 1794

The government of the United States is a definite government, confined to specified objects. It is not like the state governments, whose powers are more general. Charity is no part of the legislative duty of the government.

Thomas Jefferson 1st Inaugural Address

A wise and frugal Government, which shall restrain men from injuring one another, shall leave them otherwise free to regulate their own pursuits of industry and improvement, and shall not take from the mouth of labor the bread it has earned. This is the sum of good government,

The debate whether healthcare is a right or not first took center stage in this country back in 1912 when Theodore Roosevelt first proposed national health care during his run as president for the progressive party.  It was revived by President Truman in 1945 when he proposed national health insurance.  President Johnson signed Medicare and Medicaid in 1965, establishing healthcare as an entitlement that is provided by the Federal Government.  Ben Shapiro discusses this deeply flawed notion that healthcare is a right in this National Review Article.  Here are the most important passages from this article:

Morally, you have no right to demand medical care of me. I may recognize your necessity and offer charity; my friends and I may choose to band together and fund your medical care. But your necessity does not change the basic math: Medical care is a service and a good provided by a third party. No matter how much I need bread, I do not have a right to steal your wallet or hold up the local bakery to obtain it.

Because medical care is a commodity, and treating it otherwise is foolhardy. To make a commodity cheaper and better, two elements are necessary: profit incentive and freedom of labor. The government destroys both of these elements in the health-care industry. It decides medical reimbursement rates for millions of Americans, particularly poor Americans; this, in turn, creates an incentive for doctors not to take government-sponsored health insurance. It regulates how doctors deal with patients, the sorts of training doctors must undergo, and the sorts of insurance they must maintain; all of this convinces fewer Americans to become doctors. Undersupply of doctors generally and of doctors who will accept insurance specifically, along with overdemand stimulated by government-driven health-insurance coverage, leads to mass shortages.

This article by the Mises institute chronicles the disastrous effects making healthcare a right has had on the cost of healthcare in the United States and the problems caused by this deeply flawed thinking.

Benjamin Weingarten proposes a solution to our healthcare crisis in this Conservative Review Article

If government extricated itself from the system, we would see innovation and falling prices. One can imagine any number of solutions that the market would provide, including one in which people are able to purchase cheap catastrophic insurance and only pay for the medical care they need. They could shop for procedures from menus with transparent pricing. Health care would look more like The Cheesecake Factory than the Soviet supermarket.

For those who could still not afford sufficient medical care in a system of greater options and cheaper pricing, the private sector, faith and community-based institutions, and, if need be, a small and stringently managed government safety net would pick up the slack.

If a government safety net is used it would have to be administered by the States because the US Constitution prohibits the federal government from engaging in any entitlements.

My solution to the healthcare crises is to get the federal government out of healthcare completely and let each state come up with their own unique solution.

I came across this on Memeorandum,
She wanted her ex-husband to die with a happy thought; she told him Trump had been impeached

When Michael Elliott died, the last voice he heard was that of his ex-wife, his best friend.

In a short phone conversation moments before Elliott took his last breath, she told him what he wanted to hear.

“I told him that everything’s going to be all right,” Teresa Elliott told The Washington Post. “And Donald Trump has been impeached.”

What saddens me about this item is not that someone lied to a person in the last moments of his life, or the political nature of the story.

I know exiles who told a dying relative good news about their country, and the news were totally invented. The person on their deathbed had suffered horribly in their native country at the hands of a cruel dictatorship which for decades denied them their most basic rights, unlike Mr. Elliott, who reportedly collected Porches and founded a golf club in Oregon.

God knows what we would say while trying to ease a loved one’s last moments.

What saddens me is that this is news.

Back in the olden days there was a word of Latin origin people used: Decorum. There were notions of what was considered proper or improper behavior: If you demeaned yourself by lying to the dying in what would be regarded as a most private moment, you certainly didn’t brag about it, much less in public.

Nowadays those old notions have been pushed away in favor of political correctness and scoring political points.

After lying to the deceased, apparently the liar picked up the phone and alerted the media, which brings to mind this John Gielgud scene from Arthur (language NSFW)

In this age of social media and “reality” TV, losing our notions of what belongs in the public domain is more than just a character flaw. It is a self-inflicted wound on our right to privacy.

Fausta Rodríguez Wertz writes in U. S. and Latin America at Fausta’s blog.

Yesterday we mentioned that the Battle of Berkeley was a Yarp or Narp moment for Antifa, but it’s also decision time for those who have keep the police from doing their job.

Over the last year it’s been very plan that as long as the people doing the beating were leftists and the people being beaten were supporters of Donald Trump, leftist mayors and campus administrators have been more than happy to let it happen on the grounds that they don’t want to escalate violence.

But the battle of Berkeley has made it clear that this dynamic is now over. Now leftist Antifa thugs are subject to the same beating they once dished out and college student who once thought it was cool to put on a mask and throw punches without fear of reprisal now are vulnerable to physical injury.

In other words, the people being beaten are the political allies of the leftist mayors and administrators.

It’s the same dynamic from the classic comic Batman Year one from the 1980’s the corrupt Police Chief turns down Jim Gordon’s manpower requests to capture until he threatens the mob who backs and pays him, once that happens suddenly it’s catch the Batman or it’s your badge.

So it’s time for administrators to decide, are they going to continue to sit back watch while the left gets beaten the same way the right was, or are they, now that their ox is being gored, finally going to decide the free speech and assembly are things that are going to be enforced in their cities and on their campuses?

Of course if may be too late to check the violence but if they had enforced the rule of law in the first place, they wouldn’t be in this situation now.

By:  Pat Austin

SHREVEPORT —  In the continuing saga over the New Orleans Confederate monuments, word leaked out late last week that Mayor Mitch Landrieu was planning to begin monument removal in the dead of night before the Easter holiday weekend.

Sources within the New Orleans police department confirmed to The Hayride blog that there were plans in place to begin removal of two monuments at 1:00 a.m. Thursday morning.  But, once word leaked out the plans were abandoned. Landrieu’s office at first denied the claims, then acknowledged them.

With the Louisiana legislature now in session, and with several bills in play to preserve the monuments, Landrieu’s office is likely feeling some pressure to get them down quickly.

Meanwhile, a feud has erupted between The Advocate, Baton Rouge’s flagship newspaper, and one grassroots preservation group, Save Our Circle. The Advocate has reported that the Save Our Circle members are threatening the contractor hired to remove the monuments, a fact the SoS members deny. Save Our Circle has an active Facebook page with over 13,000 members and while not all members live in New Orleans, all do have an interest in preserving the historical monuments.

When interviewed about the threats, a spokesman for Save our Circle, George Peterson, explained that their Facebook group is a peaceful one and that moderators try to block or remove any posts or comments that reflect otherwise.  At the same time Peterson pointed out threats made by the Take ‘Em Down NOLA group which seem to rise far and above anything Save Our Circle members tolerate from their members:

Peterson insisted the Save Our Circle group is peaceful and that it is supporters of taking down the monuments who pose truly violent threats. He pointed to a tire that was set on fire at Confederate Memorial Hall near Lee Circle after Donald Trump’s presidential election and to threats by Take ‘Em Down NOLA — a group pushing for the removal of the four monuments and other statues honoring slaveholders — to drag the statue of Andrew Jackson in Jackson Square off its pedestal.

In addition, he said that some of those who showed up at a September protest at the Jackson statue wore masks and carried anarchist flags, and he noted that the monuments have repeatedly been vandalized with graffiti calling for their removal and some more violent messages such as “Die whites die.”

Louisiana’s Lt. Governor, Billy Nungesser, opposes removal of the monuments, as does most of the New Orleans population, has appealed to President Trump to intervene:

“I implore you to utilize the powers bestowed upon the Office of the President in the Antiquities Act, passed by Congress in 1906, which granted you the authority to declare by public proclamation, historic and prehistoric structures and other objects of historic significance as national monuments,” Nungesser wrote to Trump, according to WWL-TV.

With Landrieu now having made clear he has no qualms about moving in the dead of night to remove the monuments, everyone is now on high alert. Legislators are getting slammed with emails and phone calls from all over the country to support the preservation bills.

Regardless of how one feels about the Confederacy or about monuments in general, the bigger issue is the slippery slope this argument represents. The ever present “What is next?” question looms.  Some are now even calling for removal of lamp posts in NOLA.

Where does it stop?

 

Pat Austin blogs at And So it Goes in Shreveport.

I think both our media and the North Koreans are making themselves out as a bigger danger than they actually are

But beyond that I think that the over the top threats that the norks make are simply that, made for public consumption at home and to intimidate the fearful abroad.

You see in the end North Korea’s personality cult is not the same as Islam.

While radical Islamists are willing to die to advance their cause the leadership of North Korea is under no delusion as to the state of their state nor the cause of their ability to live high off the hog in  land that doesn’t have all that many hogs in the first place.

So like any bully they will take advantage of weaknesses or lapses of judgement (the Pueblo Incident being a great example of this btw) to push the weak around.  But they are not going to take any step that could end their gravy train.

And a nuclear strike would do so.  It would invite retaliation that would devastate the county and decapitate their leadership.

It’s one thing to oppress the folks of a slave state to get ahead, it’s quite another to risk retaliation that can get you killed particularly when dealing with a president that they consider more unpredictable then they are

And this isn’t 1968 when the North Koreans could count on the military support of an isolated China, but now China is ecnomically tied to the west in general and the United States in particular.

As long as the west’s leadership was easily intimidated then China was all on board because their erratic behavior caused the west to worry about what they might do and brought concessions.

But now that their erratic behavior causes China to worry about what we might do, well that’s a different game entirely.

So when you hear people all worried about World War 3 breaking out on the Korean Peninsula, don’t.

Sad, but true. Although the anti-Christian pro-islamic leftist media don’t want you to know about it, you are probably aware by now of the fact that muslims massacred Christians in Egypt on Palm Sunday, and that muslims are raping, murdering, and enslaving Christians with impunity in places like Nigeria and pretty much everywhere else that has an islamic majority and Christian minority, but the genocidal islamic hostility towards Christians does not end in the places where the muslims already dominate, it exists throughout the West where muslims are given preferential treatment (for fear of “offending” them or being accused of “islamophobia”).

In Sydney, Australia, Christians are now advised not to wear their crosses in public after a couple was viciously attacked by muslim thugs who were screaming obscenities against Jesus, and as police watched from a “safe space” while doing nothing to help the victims of islamic aggression. According to Greek community leader and former Sutherland Shire Council deputy mayor Reverend George Capsis, this is the fourth such incident in just the last six months, but nobody is reporting on it.

If you are in New York City this weekend and hoping to attend Mass for Easter weekend, you can expect to be greeted by heavily armed security. While that might be alarming, at least somebody is trying to protect some of the people that genocidal jihadis have been targeting for the entirety of islamic history.

If you celebrate Easter, I hope you and yours will have a safe, blessed and joyous holiday, but please take a moment to pray for your persecuted brothers and sisters who are in danger and are suffering at the hands of islamic maniacs around the world.

*******

MJ Stevenson, AKA Zilla, is best known on the web as Zilla at MareZilla.com. She lives in a woodland shack near a creek, in one of those rural parts of New York State that nobody knows or cares about, with her family and a large pack of guardian companion animals – including Siberian Husky Dalmatian Lab Puppies and their parents. 

I suspect they won’t show much remorse until the end of the lawsuit:

If every other egregious example of a male student denied due process after being accused of sexual misconduct gets ignored – this one should not be.

A male student who was accused of sexual harassment committed suicide just days after the University of Texas at Arlington ignored its own policies in order to punish him.  The accused student’s father, a lawyer acting as the administrator of his son’s estate, is now suing the school for violating his son’s Title IX rights.

Frankly given that people involved in bullying have been held criminally responsible in the past  I’d like to see these members of the Campus Gestapo held to that same level of criminal responsibility in this student’s death.

This kind of thing is going to continue until the price of it is too high for those making false accusations or for the schools that are throwing due process out the window.

Exit question, how long before we hear members of the left say the dead student got what he deserved?

By:  Pat Austin

SHREVEPORT – The feud between Louisiana Governor John Bel Edwards and Baton Rouge Representative Garrett Graves over the slow response of Louisiana in flood recovery efforts escalated last week when the Edwards camp accused Rep. Graves of spreading false information about the release of federal money given to the state.

Friday, Rep. Graves issued this statement:

Flood victims in need of assistance are waiting on the state government to act. The $1.65 billion that is available TODAY to the state of Louisiana for flood recovery will never be wired to a Louisiana-controlled account; that’s not how it works. It will stay at the HUD CFO Accounting Center in Fort Worth and the state will draw down the money as necessary.

The first step is for the State to upload its Action Plan to HUD’s software pictured in the screenshot. The reason it says $0 is because the state hasn’t uploaded its plan.

Once the state does upload the plan, the process will work like this:

Let’s say The Action Plan budgets $25 mm for drywall and the state needs to purchase $10 mm now.

The State submits a draw request for $10 mm and then the state gets paid within 72 hours. Now the state’s drywall budget is $15mm and so on…

The bottom line is that the state has known for more than 191 days (Sept. 28 is when Congress appropriated funds) that it would receive federal disaster money through the CDGB program, and should be ready to disburse those funds. They’re not ready.

Everything else you’re hearing is noise.

Louisiana is one of the most frequent users of DRGR. The state should be able to submit action plan in its sleep. Commissioner Dardenne is on the radio is saying it is being uploaded now – hurry up.

The spokesman for Governor Edwards, Richard Carbo, says  “Graves’ information is inaccurate and the federal government hasn’t yet released the money to the state to spend. The line of credit “has not yet been set up.”

Clearly, the government hasn’t released the money because the state has not submitted an action plan as required or hired a contractor to oversee rebuilding. Why haven’t they done that?

Meanwhile, as I reported last week, Louisianians are not waiting on the politicians.  The Cajun Navy worked alongside first responders when the floods happened in August 2016 to rescue people, pets, and property, and now the Cajun Relief Foundation is working through crowd funding to get people the financial help they need.

Be sure to read this scathing post from Scott McKay of The Hayride:

Nobody has made a full-on indictment of Edwards’ immediate response to the August floods, though he certainly wasn’t perfect – and it’s fair to say he got bailed out by the Cajun Navy, which filled in a lot of the gaps. But in the effort to get federal dollars into Louisiana to make flood recovery happen as quickly as possible, Edwards has been an unmitigated failure – and if Louisiana’s newspapers weren’t so nakedly partisan on his side the governor would have been thoroughly excoriated for it.

Hopefully the politicians can get their red tape untangled before the next flood hits.

Pat Austin blogs at And So it Goes in Shreveport.

One of the few seemingly valid arguments on the left concerning Trump’s Syria strike is the claim of a double standard that a congress that asserted it’s authority on Obama and Syria wasn’t that concerned about Trump acting alone.

The hole in that argument is best explained by one of Tip O’Neill’s famous Uncle Denny stories.  Uncle Denny is in a bar drinking on the cuff and the bartender calls the owner to ask if he’s good for the price of a drink and is asked:

“Has he had it?”

“Yes”

“Then he’s good for it.”

It’s a lot harder to object to a fait accompli particularly a popular one, then it is a potential event with all the unknown consequences and Trump understands (as my father did) that it’s better to offer explanations for doing what you’ve already done that to ask permission to do what you want to do.


Has anyone noticed that the language / pronoun police haven’t gotten to shootings yet?  You still see people routinely refer to a “gunman” instead of a “shooter” even though “gunman” not only implies a particular gender and an old fashioned binary gender as well.  I suspect that’s because to our friends in the copy rooms of the left, the implication that men are violent murders by nature is an acceptable prejudice.  It’s the same way with us Sicilians, it will be forever acceptable for the Hollywood left to portray us as a bunch of gangsters and murders to be feared.

Of course we don’t mind all that much, as people generally don’t mess with us because of it, and unlike other groups we don’t give a damn what a bunch of Scranos think of us.  (and no I’m not going to translate that for you).


The weekly standard had an interesting article about the Gorsuch confirmation indicating that the three senators that the left were counting on to stop the nuclear option were Collins of Maine, Murkowski of Alaska and Corker of Tennessee.  The first two were not a surprise to me as they are only marginally republican the third was.  The whole world was convinced it would be McCain and Graham as the potential holdouts, not a lot of people outside of DC had Corker on that list, but it’s a moot point now as Democrats were stupid enough to demonstrate that it doesn’t matter how respected and qualified a nominee is, they would filibuster them as seriously was anyone stupid enough to believe that if Hillary had won and the Democrats had held the Senate the first thing to go would be the Filibuster rule?


One last thing about the Gorsuch nomination, it’s worth noting that while the opposition of him was partisan the support for him was bipartisan.  I didn’t hear the press use that word much if at all during the hearing etc.  It’s funny because as I recall during the Obama years if even a single senator or congressman from the GOP supported something he did the press trotted out the word “bipartisan” as a sign that it was good and worthwhile, but they somehow never used that word when the GOP was passing bills in the house that Harry Reid held up (nor did they note that the opposition to Obamacare in the house was bipartisan).  Apparently the word “bipartisan” is only an acceptable complement when describing support of Democrats or opposition to Republicans.


Don Rickles died this week and tributes have come in from all over.  Of course if you look while his work on the Dean Martin Roasts and on Carson are immortalized on YouTube, they could not be performed by a comic today without being censored by the SJW crowd and the comic being declared a racist, sexist bigot etc etc etc.  I suspect a lot of the comics of today envy folks like Rickles who lived in an era when people , having lived through actually suffering and hardship knew the difference a joke and actual suffering and hardship.

This is likely why there are so nostalgia networks on the tube these days, the jokes from the old shows are funny and didn’t care about the political correctness of today.


I don’t understand the difficulty of some on the right to see why Trump’s hit of Syria was a good thing to so many.  The Pax America while expensive to the US has been one of the better things the world has seen, the loss of it puts a lot of people worldwide in danger.  It’s true a lot of folks like to complain about it just like they do about the police but they come in really handy when you need them.

Boy I miss the world war 2 generation and their values.


Speaking of things the culture needs Heather MacDonald direct challenge to Black Lives Matter about their lack of outrage over black children being murdered is one of the greatest things I’ve seen in years.  That so many in the black community are afraid of confronting these thugs who don’t give a damn if they live and die is one of the great disgraces of the 21st century.  It’s the same dynamic as the confrontation on CNN between Brooke Baldwin and a survivor of a Syrian Gas Attack who asked where all those people who protested against Trump on immigration where when they were being gassed?  Why wasn’t that worth a march?

All these people are playing the roles of useful idiots for the left and if they are more useful dead to the left then they’ll let them die.


One of the hardest things this year has been watching the Red Sox offense sputter this year without David Oritz.  I know it’s still very early  but the lack of fear on the faces of opposing pitchers has been apparent.  Maybe in a few years or maybe even this year Andrew Benintendi will generate that fear, but he hasn’t yet.


I saw an article saying that in addition to shattering every other record that any other Quarterback has held Tom Brady has the chance to break the record for oldest player to start at QB in an NFL game.  He would have to last till 2022 to do so.  While that’s not impossible it’s worth noting that of all the sports out there Football is the one where the end of your career is always only one hit away.  I wouldn’t be surprised to see Brady last 2, 3 or even four more years but to be talking seven years is WAY premature.


Finally yesterday was my 29th Anniversary and a funny thing happened this week.  Leaving a funeral mass one day my wife commented on a tucked away flower shop where we got our wedding flowers.  I noted I’d never been there and said it would be unlikely that I’d so as she said she didn’t want flowers anymore as she preferred plants.  She had totally forgotten this and had wondered why I had stopped buying her flowers over the last eight years.

That just goes to show that no matter how long you are married it’s a good idea to keep communications open, because you never actually know if people are saying what they mean, particularly when you are talking wives.