Above all else, the Devil cannot stand to be mocked.

C.S. Lewis

“You mean to tell me—HA HA HA—that there are actually people—HOHOHOHO—who—GASP GASP— FALL for that STUPID disguise?”

Ambush Bug to Clark Kent/Superman Action comics 560

One of the things I’ve never understood is why we don’t have more conservative humor.

Any person looking at liberalism can see it’s built for humor, after all watching stupidity fail over and over is inherently funny and nothing is more designed to stupidly fail more and more than liberalism..  Take the argument that getting an ID is racist.  It’s just built for comedy  I mean listen just read this:

There’s a bunch of things you can’t get without an ID Allright : Cigarette, Plane Tickets, Food Stamps Cell Phones Booze, a Checking account , Social Security Cash at an ATM, Welfare of any kind and a Rolls Royce just to name a fews So if you can’t get your act together to acquire a photo ID that the government will provide for you at no charge by mail in most states, and you think that’s racist, well good for you but you’re going to need an ID for OBAMACARE so you might want to rethink your stance.

and it’s even better on camera

This is Flipside hosted by Michael Loftus and at this time you can watch it in 28 states of if you are in Dallas Texas you can get tickets to the show here.  In addition to first rate comedy you can catch some excellent conservative guests from Larry Elder to Mark Davis.  (No DaTechGuy yet but you can’t have everything).

 

This is exactly what we need more.  Think of it who has less of a sense of humor than the left?  Who can’t laugh at themselves more than the left?

Conservatives should understand this you can’t expect to win the culture wars unless you play and more importantly when you play, the market expands.

I remember when Rush Limbaugh started out, how many people thought there was no audience for him?  He filled a niche that was ignored.  Now not only has he been on top for nearly 30 years but he begat Hannity, Laura Ingraham , Glen Beck to the point where even a little guy like me had a show for nearly 4 years.

What About Fox news?  They shot to #1 by reporting on the news that the rest of the media ignored.  Now you have Glenn Beck’s network, the Tea Party News network and each of those networks are spawning personalities that will grow the audience

Then there is  Greg Gutfeld and RedEye?  Why do you think a show running at 3 AM was beating prime time shows on other cable networks?  Because liberal stupidity is born to be laughed at..

We have to stop being afraid of these people and start laughing at them, there is a reason why Hollywood & the MSM do their best to lock conservatives out of comedy, it’s because they understand that if the American pubic actually saw the left as they are they would laugh them right out of office.

Bottom line we need more shows like the Flipside with Michael Loftus so check out the show, share the videos and keep the clips handy for when you want to make a liberal squirm.

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There are less than 60 days to the year and to say things are tight financially around here is to say the Titanic had a bit of a leak but there isn’t a lot of money in telling GOP candidates things as they are rather than what they and the establishment want them to hear.

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Gabriel:  What’s up G?  Did you like your basket?

G Reilly: Man that was messed up

Gabriel:  Did you like it?

G Reilly:  M** F**I love all that shit.  

Gabriel Iglesias Racist Gift Basket

Today when I saw this piece and read this argument:

“As a woman, I’m told not to go out alone at night, to watch my drink, to do all of these things. That way, rape isn’t just controlling me while I’m actually being assaulted — it controls me 24/7 because it limits my behavior. Solutions like these actually just recreate that. I don’t want to fucking test my drink when I’m at the bar. That’s not the world I want to live in.”

…from a feminist complaining about the development of a nail polish that detects date rape drugs by changing color:

All I could think of was this passage from the Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy concerning the infinite improbability drive (emphasis mine)

The principle of generating small amounts of finite improbability by simply hooking the logic circuits of a Bambleweeny 57 Sub-Meson Brain to an atomic vector plotter suspended in a strong Brownian Motion producer (say a nice hot cup of tea) were of course well understood- and such generators were often used to break the ice at parties by making all the molecules in the hostess’s undergarments leap simultaneously one foot to the left, in accordance with the Theory of Indeterminacy.

Many respectable physicists said that they weren’t going to stand for this, partly because it was a debasement of science, but mostly because they didn’t get invited to those sorts of parties.

It would appear to me that one of the least effective ways of to counter stereotypes about feminists as undesirable women, a stereotype  exploited by posts like this one by Brian Cates or this one by  Stacy Mccain is to express yourself  in a way that reinforces those stereotypes.

So in the spirit of giving good advice to those younger than me Ms Nagle, let me tell you your complaint suggesting a product that would not only deter a potential date rapist but would allow a woman to detect such an attempt, is oppressive limiting and controlling has future cat lady written all over it.

Or as Stacy puts it

Perhaps instead one might suggest the best long term solution would be advancing a cultural solution. Once comes to mind almost instantly, a philosophy that respects and elevates the sex act, urges men to respect women and reserves sex for its proper time & place.

Brooke: I want you to WANT to do the dishes.

Gary: Why would I “want” to do dishes? Why?

Brooke: See that’s my whole point

The Break Up: 2006

Penny:   All right. Let me give you a little girlfriend 101. Usually the first move out of the gate is you withhold sex, but that will work better after Sheldon hits puberty.

The Big Bang Theory, The Weekend Vortex 2012

I still have not read Helen Smith New Book Men on Strike (although I very much want to have her on the show ASAP) but something came up this week that instantly made me think of it. Vivian Norris proposed Sex strike.

But women, take heed: Don’t give in if your man, boyfriend, husband, toyboy is not voting for your best interests, your reproductive health — do not sleep with that man! I don’t care how cute or charming he is! I don’t care if he is your husband of many years. Resist! Go swimming! Meditate!

A 20 something man, the type who might be considered most vulnerable to such a proposition who I told the story to suggested this would fail as woman wouldn’t be able to do with out sex themselves.  This invoked a memory of a SNL skit  from over a decade before he was born staring Jane Curtin:

Earlier this October, Congress extended the period for ratification of the Equal Rights Amendment. Yet, since then not one additional state legislature has ratified this most basic affirmation of human rights. It is time we women took action. As a spokesperson for Weekend Update, I am therefore calling on the women of America to place a moratorium on the act of performing oral sex on any male until the ERA is the law.

I recall Bill Murray’s reply vividly

Well, okay, Jane. But remember that oral sex is a sword that cuts both ways. No oral sex — you know what I’m saying?

Of course we have since learned from liberals that Oral Sex really isn’t sex so it may not be included in Vivian Norris’ proposed strike but lets for the moment presume it is.  Even including a potential lack of Felicio Vivian Norris and her allies proposal to withhold sex until Texas approves late-term abortion on their terms is doomed to fail, mostly due to the limited number of potential persuadable men.  Let’s examine the subset

1.  By definition this strike will only be effective on pro-life men if they are having sex with pro-abortion women.  Since there is a large subset of women who are pro-life none of them are likely to join this boycott so those men are out

2. Religion is a strong driver in terms of abortion positions.  There are always the men who put principle or religion over sex, a small subset to be sure but that subset must also be removed from the equation.

3.  By nature people in high political positions have power and or money, both of these are power inducements for women to have sex with them (Ask yourself if the women at the playboy mansion care what Hefner’s abortion position is)  so the subset of women who are willing to boycott shrinks to the pro-abortion women who are not persuaded by either power or money to sleep with a man.

4.  We also have to subtract those with national ambitions in the GOP, coming out pro-abortion would mean death in a primary and would dry of vast quantities of donor funds from the base nationwide

5.  With the combination of masturbation going from a source of derision and humor to something society declares as “healthy & natural” and pornography becoming not only acceptable but so common on the net on cable and elsewhere that you have to take affirmative steps to avoid it, a man can find release easily.  For a few dollars more a strip club or a hooker on Craigslist is not far away.

6.  Finally you have to exclude one more subset of men, the long married.  A man who has been married for over 30 years put it well when I mentioned it to him saying he’s been married so long he’s forgotten what sex looks like.

7.  And of course this boycott will not effect pro-life women voting for the ban

So now Ms. Norris’ boycott now is now down to targeting the subset of  pro-life men,  who are not with a pro-life spouse or girlfriend, who are not strong enough of character to put their religion or principles first, are not driven enough by ambition to be pro-life for political purposes,  do not have sufficient money and/or power to override the willingness of women to copulate with, are not satisfied with either porn, hookers and strippers to provide a sufficient masturbatory release and who haven’t been married long enough to not notice the absence of sex as normal.

That’s when she hits the final wall.

Men in general tend to have a much higher tolerance for clutter and disorder than women.  What happen if the man figures, hmmm she not going to give me any anyway, why should I bother with dishes, or laundry or mowing the grass or painting that shed or picking up, or those errands etc etc etc.

Men need very little incentive to practice inertia, I suspect Ms. Norris’ boycott will provide more than enough to continue.

So who does that leave Ms. Norris to target?   The subset of non-religious pro-abortion straight men, without power or money, who have not been married long enough to forget sex, are unwilling to masturbate or spend a few dollars on a pole dancer and are too fastidious to let a house stay unkempt in Texas.

And I thought the GOP was a small voting subset in Massachusetts.

Well perhaps if Ms Norris & her voluptuous colleagues can pressure these men sufficiently  so they will implore the other men not vulnerable to the boycott  to give in for their sake.

Because there is nothing like knowing you are having more sex than the other guy to bruise a man’s ego.

Update:  Cleaned up some minor grammer mistakes

My review for Leften Wright’s latest book The Handbook for Closet Conservatives is available at Amazon.com here.

If you hope to someday get a government job and need to be able to convince the person interviewing you the IRS went too easy on Tea Party Groups, this is a must read.

Leften Will be joining me Saturday June 15th on DaTechGuy on DaRadio for more tips on how to help you blend in the bluest of blue settings.

By why wait till the 15th when you can buy his book here

Apparently due to the absolutely polarized nature of our political discussion and the rapid nature of mediums like Twitter many people no longer have the ability to pick up forms of humor such as sarcasm as they once did.

In the interest of the well-being of such folk The Emergency blog system for the humor impaired™ brings you this vital message.

When I re-tweet something like this:

This is an example of "Sarcasm"

I am not in fact claiming this attack happened because of “Islamaphobia” which is a term used by those who are:

1. Trying to suppress critiques of any action however barbaric by Islamic radicals

2. Actually “islamophobic” defined as “So afraid that if they don’t kowtow to radical Islam that they will be targeted.”

rather I am making fun of those who cry “Islamophoboa” at the drop of a hat as if this stuff doesn’t go on almost every day.

and when I re-tweet something like this:

Sarcasm example #2 This will be on the test

I am not in fact blaming my friend Pam Geller who I strongly admire; for the Muslims scalding a Christian convert in Norway:

A an ex-Muslim Convert to Christianity was attacked with boiling water and acid by Muslims at an ‘asylum reception centre’ in Norway on Friday.

“Ali” (Not his real name), an Asylum seeker in an immigration centre in Jaeren, Norway, had boiling water poured over him after he converted to Christianity and would not comply with Ramadan fasting rules. He and the other converts at the centre now fear for their lives

but am actually mocking those in the MSM and on the net who falsely tried to pin an act of mass murder on her in that very same country for the fools they are.

This concludes this message from the Emergency blog system for the humor impaired™. If you or someone you love is humor impaired I suggest an emergency dose of the Three Stooges or Monty Python. If it is an advanced case such as the Sarcasm impaired then administer doses of the Marx Brothers each day till they’ve seen all their movies.

Personally I think it’s all a case of Neo-Confederate-Sex-Panic.

First with these two tweets concerning the news conference:

He follows up with some questions that didn’t get asked at his news conference such as:

When you create jobs, why do always create them for Texas?

If you are not familiar with Iowahawk, here is my interview with the most concise man on the internet from last year

Admit it when you first saw this:

Shouting anti-U.S. slogans Muslims erupted into the streets, killing 14 more people over a translation of the 1986 Bangles hit ‘Walk Like an Egyptian.

You didn’t realize it was a parody, likely because of stuff like this:

Despite denials of an anti-Islam bias from Nintendo, the Japanese manufacturer of the cards and electronic games, Muslim leaders in Oman, Qatar, Dubai, Jordan and Egypt have also said Pokemon is religiously unacceptable. Japanese embassies throughout the region have received inquiries from parents and officials who had heard that Pokemon was Japanese for “I am a Jew.”

or their attempts to hold off Barbie.

Pretty sad isn’t it?

Seeing this story”

Feminist group demands Reid apologize for calling Gillibrand ‘hottest’ senator

And this story

Katy Perry’s Sesame Street Segment Cut Over Her Cleavage

Make me want to see the following headline

Feminist group demands apology from Elmo for “nice ta-tas” remark to Katy Perry.

If I don’t see this at either scrappleface or the Onion I will be very surprised.

Update: This one at hot air is pretty good too: This episode brought to you by the letters T & A.

Can’t the top just be digitally altered?