A.G. Sulzberger
Publisher
The New York Times
620 Eighth Avenue
New York, New York 10018

Dear Mr. Sulzberger:

I have been a subscriber to your newspaper for much of the past 30 years.

During that time, I have stood by you when Jason Blair made stuff up.

I stood by you when Judith Miller made stuff up.

I must stand by you when Sarah Jeong made stuff up.

As an old, white guy, I understand that I deserve to be treated with cruelty.

For years I have been a groveling goblin and been miserable to others.

I have marked up the internet like a dog pissing on a fire hydrant.

I didn’t realize that I burn more easily in the sun than people of color.

I thought living underground was what everyone did.

I find comfort that my fellow academics and my former colleagues in the mainstream media stand by Jeong’s side.

As Nolan L. Cabrera, an associate professor at the University of Arizona, put it so clearly:

“The term ‘racism’ is not the equivalence of prejudice or bigotry. It’s an analysis of social inequality along the color lines and an analysis of power dynamics and social oppression. None of which has ever been in the hands of people of color or communities of color: There’s never been the social structure to be able to oppress white people.”

I do realize the error of my ways, failing to see that I have subjugated all races to second-class citizenship and understanding that a social structure must be put in place to oppress white people.

As a Trump supporter, I understand why Jeong feels that “nothing but an unending cascade of vomit” comes out of her mouth when she tries to “politely greet a Republican.”

I do realize that I am a “garbage” person with bad teeth as your and Jeong’s colleague at POLITICO so rightly put it.

I also endorse the harassment of many administration officials for their looks and the ban on some of them eating in restaurants because of their beliefs.

My re-education is almost complete. I will continue to read your excellent columnists like Charles Blow and Jeong to make certain that my wayward ways are corrected.

I praise you and your media colleagues for raising the bar so high on journalistic standards.

Oh, I am sorry for being, as Joeng puts it, “satirical.”

Cordially,

Christopher Harper