Sarah’s Emails and the MSM’s Ride
Listen my readers and you shall now hear
Of the weekend slide of the MSM’s cheer.
On a weekend in June in Two Thousand Eleven;
The Papers assumed they would achieve heaven.
From e-mails in storage from Yesteryear.
The Times and the Washington Post said to friends:
“Before the Palin e-mails come to light
Fill out our form; join our common end
For our staffs are cut by the internet’s might
Be our hands, and new eyes to see
And we in our newsrooms awaiting will be
Ready to declare and spread the alarm
Through every media outlet, urban or farm
Protecting America from Palin’s odd charms.”
On their webform and blog they invited the hoard
A tactic quite different from accepted norm,
For they knew where once old AOL lay
Arianna in e-mail blast had asked the same.
The Huffpo, a new-media man-o-war;
A virtual juggernaut with modern guile
Where payment of writers was not their style,
A huge hit engine, that was magnified
By a big money merger and a wink of her eye.
For the Media burned for revenge and relief
As their writers and Newscasters , with eager ears,
Had languished in the silence around them to hear,
The muster of riders of a bus tour.
A tip a hint, an IM or tweet.
On the measured tread, of bus-tires clear
Rolling from DC to where? To what shore?
They had climbed in their cars, cellphones prepared
Charged laptops, blackberries and Ipods to tread,
To locations unknown, in utter dread,
For the Palins neither worried nor cared
Of the mess of all their schedules they made
No set shots, no prepwork, no judgement of shade
Just follow the bus get the story and shot
We don’t care if the media keeps up or not
We won’t pause to listen or look down
If the 4th estate is not anywhere ’round
For a lead-in for their 6 p.m. slot
Via facebook, and tweet, silent as the dead
The Palin fans found path and hill
Though wrapped in secret so deep and still
That the media could not hear their tread
Through Tornado and pizza, the caravan went
Rolling along from event to event
Seeming to suddenly shout “We are here”
And lo, like a flash mob, supporters would cheer
Of the place and the hour; no Soros foot tread
No pre-arranged counter-protest to cover instead
No SEIU call No union lament
To arrange coordination of an AstroTurf view
No “Palin is booed” on the Evening News
Frustratingly, the template the MSM wrote
Is not effective as an offsite remote
Though painful the chase of her foolish bus tour
The MSM believed, soon would be the cure
Though Wiener indiscretions dominated the waves
And his tweets and photos had provided a lure,
The Alaskan e-mails would provide them the save!
Her idiocy would shine. her incompetence shown
Cross country all of this could be known
Though information requests did surely take time
MSM’s full vindication would now soon arrive
(Perhaps even as Andrew did sagely pursue
Of Trigs parentage at last we would know the full truth)
All of this new info of months of misrule
With Sarah’s own words she’ll make her the fool
The bumpkin unmasked by our readers with glee
Our readers are anxious to do this work too
And best of all it will be done for us free!
Yet some words of caution did now arise.
From allies of sober experience known
Whose senses of PR were firmly honed.
Would not an attempt to recruit such new eyes;
When once we decided to avert our gaze
At the friends candidate Obama once made
Their tapes still locked within our safes.
Might this be a move, not so wise?
Could it strengthen that worst of Brietbart crowd’s lies?
Of media Bias, their ultimate prize?
Though the danger of Palin we minimize not
It’s a bridge much too far, a hill too steep?
Nay! The Times and the Post continued their leap
The die had been cast, whatever the cost
It was one Eastern Standard by the clock
The mails were released, now what can be ’round?
They would not falter they would not stop
Though the first batch was fruitless more would they download
They’d continuing examining with a fine tooth comb
Till at close of day, nary a story found
On Saturday morning they sprung up anew
The volunteers started with a loud yawn
Plenty more e-mails to process and chew
Lots more to read, now slightly aghast
As the minutes and hours fruitlessly bared
And their gaze grew dim there, was there NAUGHT there?
They day was near finished the hours had passed
And still not a story worth looking upon
By evening, they had gone through the lot
Dismayed that ’twas no smoking gun found
For this? Hours of weekend for naught?
Where was the bombshell to spill on the web?
The goods upon Palin? Huge Memeorandm threads?
For this we gave our night on the town?
No incriminating email, no message of dread?
We signed up eagerly awaiting her fall
Yet instead twas our template lying dead
And disappointment awaiting us all!
How could this be, the books we have read?
John Stewart had proclaimed her a massive air head
On Colbert and Conan the audience did roar
Morning Joe and George Will dismissed her and more
Did not Katie Couric show her so lame?
(Now where is Katie reporting again?)
Instead of the simpleton insipid and slow
Once again is the Palin of Lock and Load?
So thus was the media forced to report
After days of warning and cries of alarm
That the Palin e-mails would do her much harm;
The voluminous emails gave no support
To their voice of darkness their cry of fear
That something quite evil was lurking here
That hidden in all those e-mails past
Was the secret likely to foil her at last!
That from their templates, so careful built
The people would waken, and listen to hear
Discarding MSM spin convention and tilt
The message of Palin; unfiltered and clear
With Apologies to Henry Wadsworth Longfellow and thanks to the MSM without whose obsession this would not have been possible
Update: I totally forgot that I did this once before this year concerning the Wisconsin Senate but considering the current Palin news what other poem could be used?