The Doctor, Obama & the Press Corps

With Apologies to Matt Smith, Karen Gillam & Arthur Darvill

Vroop Vroop Vroop (The TARDIS materializes just outside the press briefing area, the doors open the Doctor Amy & Rory come out all wearing swimming gear.)


The Doctor:  Horseshoe bay beach Bermuda!  Pink Sands, warm weather and water almost as pure as the isles of Obcidan 3 during their 400 year summers!

Amy Pond:  Ah Doctor, I don’t see a beach here, I see reporters, cameras and a podium.

The Doctor:  Amy Pond,  after all this time you should know you can’t judge things by first appearances,  right Rory?

Rory  Williams:  Right Doctor but that White House & the big Washington Monument in the background doesn’t scream Bermuda.

The Doctor:  Of course we’re in Bermuda, we have to be in Bermuda the TARDIS coordinate systems states conclusively we are in Bermuda…

Reporter #1:  This is Chuck Todd at the White House where the president is about to give remarks on the terrorist Attacks on our embassies in Cairo & Libya on the anniversary…

The Doctor:  ….or almost in Bermuda, well the same hemisphere in fact the same section of the same hemisphere on the right planet in a city near the right ocean, that’s GOT to count for something….

Amy:  It looks Like a press conference

The Doctor:  (picking up discarded Newspaper) Yes, September 12 2012, Washington DC, the speech after attacks on US Embassies in Africa, that’s President Obama speaking, funny thing I don’t see Mrs. Clinton I remember her being here…

President Obama:  ….(finishing speech) I’ll take some questions, Howard..

Doctor:  That’s Odd.

Reporter #2:  Howard Fineman:  The Daily Beast Mr. President reports indicate there was warning of the threats of violence and kidnapping in Benghazi how is it there was not extra security on the ground?

The  Doctor:  Something’s wrong, something very wrong

Amy:  What wrong, it’s a press conference with the president answering questions

The Doctor:  Yes President Obama answering questions from the press…

Reporter 3:  Mr. President David Gregory NBC news; The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of staff called upon an American Citizen to restrain from exercising his 1st Amendment rights to free expression, is it the position of the government that offensive speech is not allowed against Islam and if not, does that apply to other religions as well?

The Doctor:  They are questioning president Obama, they are asking him tough questions on the Bombings!

Rory:  So what’s wrong with, that isn’t that normal?

The Doctor:  Is it Rory, IS it?

Reporter #4:  Mr. President Candy Crowley CNN News the statement from the embassy decrying any insult to Islamic sensibilities was not repudiated by the White House until after Governor Romney’s statement on the matter was first leaked to the press, was that retraction a reaction to that impending statement and if not when was it decided to make that retraction?

Amy:  Yes Doctor the press, asks questions and the president answers them that’s what’s supposed to happen.

The Doctor:   No Amy that not what they’re supposed to be doing, it’s not remotely what they’re supposed to be doing, well I mean to say it IS what they are supposed to be doing, but it not what they are supposed to be doing. (Produces sonic screwdriver)

Amy:   Did you understand that?

Rory:  Not a word

Amy:  Explain!

The Doctor:  (screwdriver buzzes moving frantically ) It’s all wrong.   President Obama taking questions from the press?  The press challenging him on issues?  The TARDIS taking us to Washington when we are supposed to be in Bermuda…

Rory:  You’ve got to admit that last one isn’t unusual.

Amy:  But what’s happening?

The Doctor:  It’s got to be a thing, a nasty thing, a nasty timey wimey thing (Looks at the readings) AH Void Energy!  It’s a dimensional breech and it’s sealing fast, back to the TARDIS quick!!

(Amy & Rory Dash into the TARDIS as The Doctor closes the door and rushes to the console)

Amy:  All right Doctor,  Void energy?

The Doctor: (frantically hitting switches, TARDIS smoking and sparking)  Dimensional breech, void energy seeping through.  likely left over from the Universal reboot.  We slipped  sideways into a parallel dimension, Imagine a photo copy with a line through the copy as if there is a stain on it.

Rory:  Yes?

The Doctor:  (still frantic still hitting switches and tapping keys) Well it’s nothing like that,  but if we don’t slip back to an exact parallel moment in our own dimensional timeline we’ll  be trapped in a parallel universe where New Coke was never discontinued, (The TARDIS SHAKES And TAKES off amid sparks and bangs  as everyone holds for dear life and shaking and smirking re-materializes a few moments laterVoorp Vroop Vroop and a thud)

Amy:  (getting up off the floor) Did we make it Doctor?

The Doctor:  Don’t know yet, have to check if we’ve landed in the correct parallel moment in our own established timeline.  (Opens the Door and rushes out with Amy & Rory right behind him they see Mitt Romney in front of  a blue background with press in front of him.)

Mitt Romney:  (finishing statement) …with that I’ll be happy to take any questions you may have, Steve?

Rory:  Doctor did we make it?

Reporter Steve:  You issued a very toughly worded statement last night, do you regret the tone at all knowing what we know now?

The Doctor:   (With a deep relieved sigh)  Yes Rory, we made it, everything is back as it should be.  Or back the way it actually is anyways.

Update: The MSM on the “Innocence of Muslims” movie in 10 seconds.

Update:  Univision asks Obama tough questions media amazed.  I guess this is more than a Doctor Who episode.