30 Tips to Stay Married 30 Years: #5 Set Limits Early

This one is very hard.

There are certain things that are important to individuals for whatever reason, either they value them or they hate them with a passion.

These things develop over our youth and by the time we’re getting married they are ingrained, sometimes to a degree where we think Of COURSE everyone feels the same way.

It can be a thing as simple as putting pans away a certain way or as complicated as an annual pilgrimage. With my brother Tony it was clothes, he told his wife to be in no uncertain clothes that nobody washed clothes but him, but whatever it is, you need to discuss it with your fiancée /wife/husband. Before marriage is best but if you wait till after the nuptials do it quick.

The sooner these limits are set the less likely they will fester into resentment and if for some reason this contradicts something important to your spouse it’s best to get it out there early while still in the throes of the enchantment of new marriage when you are likely to resolve it, than to have it out when that factor is no longer there and you’ve had years of silence breeding resentment that will burst out when you’re angry.

It will pay off in the long run, my brother Tony will be married 48 years all of which involved him doing the laundry to his wife’s delight.

Previously in 30 tips to stay married 30 years: