The Single Most Important Lesson from Barbara Bush, Harry Anderson R Lee Emery and Bruno Samartino

Early this week R. Lee Emery the marine turned actor first known for Full Metal Jacket but more famous for his show Mail Call died at the age of 74

A few days ago Barbara Bush, wife of one president, mother of another not to mention the mother of a governor and matriarch of a grand political family after a long and useful life died at the age of 92.

Yesterday we learned that one of the legends of wrestling and one of the working class heroes of my pre-teen years Bruno Samartino died at the age of 82.

Finally we also heard that Harry Anderson actor and magician, who millions knew as the eccentric but honorable Judge Harry Stone from the very long running series Night Court died at the age of 62.

These people are very different in terms of where they come from although all in the end had fame and were performers (don’t think for one moment Mrs. Bush did not have to perform).  Some had lasting fame, others less known, some had a niche, and others would be recognized anywhere they showed their faces but all of them taught a lesson this week and this is it.

Everybody dies!

It does not matter how rich you are, how famous you are, how funny you are, how strong or fit you are or how determined you are.  It doesn’t matter if your friends are the most powerful and wealthy people in the world or if  you have access to the best doctors and the best medical treatment, either experimental or conventional  that the world can offer you.


Today society denies reality all the time, our society has pretended that marriage is something other than what it is, that we can spontaneously change our sex/gender (which meant the same thing for more than 2000 years), that criminality is never the fault of those who commit it, that Islam is a religion of peace and that if we only use the right invented pronouns, smoke the right weed, and bring down western civilization as we know it, we will create paradise here on earth, but no amount of denial will change the fact that every single person who reads this post (and every person who doesn’t for that matter) is doomed to die along with the author of that post.

Act accordingly.

In closing I strongly suggest, implore and plead with you dear reader to take that reality into account, not in terms of life insurance or estate planning (although both are sensible things) but in terms of your soul and the mercy of God.

I am a very ordinary Catholic in a theological sense,  but in one respect my Catholicism is very strange in that it’s not faith based, but reality based.

I maintain that the doctrines of the Catholic Church are truth.

God’s exists.
Jesus Christ, born of the Virgin Mary was his son.
Christ suffered, died and rose from the dead to pay the debt for the sins of man.
Either Hell or Heaven (after a comparatively brief stop in purgatory for purification) awaits us for the rest of eternity.
The Choice of Heaven or Hell rests on our decision to accept the Mercy of Christ and act accordingly.

I submit these are not matters of faith and opinion but facts to be dealt with.

Now you might say my maintaining that these are facts make it so and you are right.  No amount of my stating these facts makes them true, however by the same token no amount of denial of them or insisting they are all fantasy make them false.

100 years from now we will either not exist or both know that I am telling the truth, the only question is will that knowledge be a source of eternal joy or pain.

30 Tips to Stay Married 30 Years Today Tip: #22 Ignore the Jones

Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor’s goods

The 10th Commandment

This is straight out of the Ten Commandments and is one of the most sensible bits of advice that a couple might get.

In our consumer culture we are constantly bombarded with things we MUST have and even more importantly the idea that if our neighbor has something that we don’t, it’s a problem.

If you’re happy with your TV and it’s working fine, it doesn’t matter if the folks next door got a bigger one.  If your iPhone is working fine and does all you want, who cares if your friend bought a new one.  If your car is running fine, passing inspection and serves all your needs then if the folks next door got a better car, big whoop.

It’s my experience in life that the difference in such upgrades are usually pretty small, and in the end it becomes all about vanity and even if you get this new thing or a model one better than the guy next door, it doesn’t stop them from upgrading and suddenly you find yourselves in a consumer arms race where the only winner is the credit card company.

Forget that arms race and keep that money in your pocket, get things when you need them without worrying about what the next fellow has, and not only will you have less debt but less worry and if that doesn’t convince you think about it this way, the fact that you aren’t bothered by your neighbors new stuff will drive the Jones’ nuts.

Da Tips so far

30 Tips to stay Married 30 years Today’s Tip: #21 Maintain Surprise

King: Take it away, everyday the same thing. Variety! I want something different. Fix me Hasenpfeffer right away!

Shishkabugs (Bugs Bunny short cartoon) 1962

One of the things that is often mentioned as a problem in relationships is the same old thing. Our consumer society pushes the dread of the same old thing for the sake of selling and a lot of people find themselves spending a lot of money on junk because of it.

The same dread is often pushed in relationships today in movies and TV. The dread of the same old thing has been advanced to the point where people are making choices that are toxic for the long term health of a marriage.

The best way to avoid this problem? Maintain healthy surprise in a relationship. Here are a few ways of doing this that doesn’t involve risks that include catching the social disease of the day.

On a random day each month get your spouse a small gift.  This doesn’t have to be anything big, a single flower, a six pack of beer, a little thing.  If you regularly get a coffee, skip it one day and get something for daspouse.  pick a day and that day use those few dollars to a little something for dawife or Dahusband.

And once every three months instead of the small thing do something slightly bigger, a small lunch, a movie.

And once a year instead of the small thing, do something bigger, a show, a fancier dinner, an overnight

This should be independent of regular birthdays and anniversaries and it should also be something that doesn’t break the bank.  The real trick is to keep it random (I suggest using old D & D dice that you’ve put away years ago.

Again it isn’t the size of said gift, it’s the fact that it is completely unexpected that makes it special.

Now I’m sure many of you can come up with better ideas and schemes and naturally you will know your spouse better than me but as long as it’s a bit random and a bit of a surprise you will put an extra smile on your mate’s face and those extra smiles will add up to many years of happiness.

My 30 Tips so far