Even if a particular train of thought can be twisted so as to end in our favour, you will find that you have been strengthening in your patient the fatal habit of attending to universal issues and withdrawing his attention from the stream of immediate sense experiences. Your business is to fix his attention on the stream. Teach him to call it “real life” and don’t let him ask what he means by “real.”CS Lewis The Screwtape Letters Letter #1
If there is one thing that you can’t avoid these days it’s unsolicited advice.
In the old days it would come from friends, acquaintance and relatives, now it comes from everywhere in the culture.
TV, Movies, Talk shows, podcasts, and social media are constantly telling you how you should live, how you should eat, how you should have sex etc etc etc. Furthermore in today’s cancel culture a lot of this is given in terms not just of advice, but as a command, do this OR ELSE.
Now of course both you and your spouse live in the culture, the place and the time where you are so while this bombardment can’t be avoided completely it can be ignored and some of it might even make sense or have merit but all of it, the advice and the culture should be taken in the context of what we said yesterday: No source of advice, not even this post can beat the experience of each day you have together.
The demands of culture are transitory. Even just a few years of marriage will outlast the fads of the day. Once you are talking lustrums (5 years) or decades you will realize just how hollow they truly are.
Take it all with a grain of salt.
The Tips So far”
- #1 Choose Wisely
- #2 A Long Engagement
- #3 Get Married in Church
- #4 Don’t Write Your Own Vows
- #5 Set Limits Early
- $6 Live Modestly
- #7 Embrace Your Mother-In-Law
- #8 If Possible Take Advantage of Your Parent’s Advice
- #9 Don’t Diss your Spouse to your friends
- #10 Remember Birthdays and Anniversaries
- #11 NEVER DISS YOUR SPOUSE ON SOCIAL MEDIA!
- #12 Pray
- #13 Angry Gifts
- #14 Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
- #15 Carefully Choose the Hills Worth Dying On
- #16 Avoid Temptation & Suspicion
- #17 Have an Argument Escape Plan (and or let your spouse use their’s)
- #18 Don’t spoil the kids, particularly early
- #19 A United Front
- #20 Remember Marriage is Work
- #21 Maintain Surprise
- #22 Ignore the Jones
- #23 The Dollar Store is Your Friend
- #24 Don’t start the Day Wrong
- #25 Take Lucy’s Advice on Starting (or ending) the Day Right
- #26 Remember, You Know Your Spouse Best