A Challenge for the “Mostly Peaceful” Crowd, “Mostly Unpoisoned” Vegan Soup

Mortimer Brewster: Wait a minute! Stop all this. Now, look, darling, how did he die?

Abby Brewster: Oh, Mortimer, don’t be so inquisitive. The gentleman died because he drank some wine with poison in it.

Mortimer Brewster: How did the poison get in the wine?

Martha Brewster: Well, we put it in wine, because it’s less noticeable. When it’s in tea, it has a distinct odor.

Arsenic and Old Lace 1944

One of the memes we’ve been hearing from the left and the media for the last several weeks is that the “protesters” in blue cities are “Mostly Peaceful” meaning that they were peaceful right up until the time they weren’t. In yesterday’s lead post I noted that played right into POTUS hands.

It came again up yesterday as I pointed out that the violent protesters who had to be restrained by the national guard had blocked entrances and threatened violence at attendees just might have had something to do with the numbers at the President’s Tulsa Rally:

I replied with the standard bit about the April 1865 production at Ford’s theatre:

But given the historical ignorance of so many of the left I’ve thought of a more practical way to answer the “mostly peaceful” crowd:

Mostly Un-Poisoned Soup

Before you can make “mostly un-poinsoned soup” you need a recipe for soup. I found this one at All recipes .com

  • 1 tablespoon olive oil
  • ½ pound leeks, cleaned and chopped
  • 2 celery ribs, chopped
  • ½ red onion, chopped
  • 1 green onion, chopped
  • 1 jalapeno pepper, sliced
  • 1 teaspoon dried basil
  • ½ teaspoon dried rosemary
  • ⅓ head green cabbage, chopped
  • ¼ eggplant, chopped
  • 2 carrots, peeled and chopped
  • ¼ (12 ounce) package extra-firm tofu, cubed
  • 1 clove garlic, minced
  • 1 cup water to cover
  • 1 Roma tomato, chopped

I had originally taken a chicken soup recipe but figured our leftist friends would prefer something vegan. Now to this we add the following to convert our completely un poisoned soup into Mostly unpoisoned

  • 1 teaspoon of arsenic
  • 1/2 teaspoon of strychnine
  • a pinch of cyanide

This is per gallon of water and can be adjusted up or down per the recipe provided by Aunt Martha Brewster here:

Aunt Martha: For a gallon of elderberry wine, I take one teaspoon full of arsenic, then add half a teaspoon full of strychnine, and then just a pinch of cyanide.

Mortimer Brewster: Hmm. Should have quite a kick.

And here are the Instructions for preparation

  • Step 1 Heat oil in a large pot over medium heat. Add leeks, celery, red onion, green onion, jalapeno, basil, and rosemary. Cook and stir until vegetables are soft, about 10 minutes. Add cabbage, eggplant, carrots, tofu, and garlic. Add water to cover. Bring soup to a boil uncovered.
  • Step 2 Cover soup partially; reduce heat. Simmer, stirring occasionally, until vegetables are almost tender, about 20 minutes. Add tomato. Cook until vegetables are fully tender, about 10 minutes more. Season with salt.

I don’t claim to have the expertise of the Brewster Sisters but I have a feeling that this would have quite a kick too.

Now of course being a sensible man of the right I would never cook , serve or eat such a recipe because I understand that “Mostly UnPoisoned” soup is in fact poisoned soup, just like a “mostly peaceful” protest, in in fact not peaceful. Nor would I suggest any sane person do so.

But our friends on the left think obviously think differently, so the next time a person of the left insists that a protest is “mostly peaceful” and berates you for suggesting it is not, offer them this link and tell them you will concede that point as soon as they prepare and eat a bowl of this delicious vegan “mostly unpoisoned” soup. I suspect they will no more anxious to try it as they would drive a car with “mostly fixed” breaks or have an operation with “mostly effective” anesthetic.

Hey There could be a Darwin Award in it!

For those who don’t know them, meet the Brewsters:

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