Miranda: Ummm that was incredible. Was it good for you?
Fletcher: I’ve had better.Liar Liar 1997
Of all the tips you have read so far this is the one that the two of us have the had the most trouble keeping.
On Radio there is a kill switch or if you know you are dealing with something that can cause grief you will have a seven second delay to allow the engineer, to keep something off the air that will get you in trouble. Marriage is the one other place where that can be most useful.
A seven second delay between the time you think something and the time you decide to say it aloud can be one of the best ways to keep a marriage strong.
The most obvious application is during an argument when someone will blurt out something that they instantly wish they could take back, or in a social setting when one might embarrass one’s spouse but believe it or not it’s OUTSIDE of such situations that this rule is most applicable.
A lifetime of watching sitcoms has had a bad effect in the sense that the idea that a conversation ends with a “zinger” might seem to be the norm, but the reality is that while that a good thing if your goal is to get a laugh from millions of viewers if your goal is a good relationship such a statement to your spouse is more likely to cause grief and not just grief the type of grief that doesn’t get expressed right away and is stored ready to be remembered as a grievance at a time of trouble perhaps even at a critical time.
This is your spouse not your “straight man” and there’s a reason why you haven’t quit your day job to go on tour.
It might take some practice, but getting that kill switch “installed” in your head will pay dividends for years to come.
The 30 (32) tips so far
- #1 Choose Wisely
- #2 A Long Engagement
- #3 Get Married in Church
- #4 Don’t Write Your Own Vows
- #5 Set Limits Early
- #6 Live Modestly
- #7 Embrace Your Mother-In-Law
- #8 If Possible Take Advantage of Your Parent’s Advice
- #9 Don’t Diss your Spouse to your friends
- #10 Remember Birthdays and Anniversaries
- #11 NEVER DISS YOUR SPOUSE ON SOCIAL MEDIA!
- #12 Pray
- #13 Angry Gifts
- #14 Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
- #15 Carefully Choose the Hills Worth Dying On
- #16 Avoid Temptation & Suspicion
- #17 Have an Argument Escape Plan (and or let your spouse use their’s)
- #18 Don’t spoil the kids, particularly early
- #19 A United Front
- #20 Remember Marriage is Work
- #21 Maintain Surprise
- #22 Ignore the Jones
- #23 The Dollar Store is Your Friend
- #24 Don’t start the Day Wrong
- #25 Take Lucy’s Advice on Starting (or ending) the Day Right
- #26 Remember, You Know Your Spouse Best
- #27 Take Culture With a Grain of Salt
- #28 Togetherness The Default, but not Mandatory
- #29 Expect Change
- #30 The Last Word is Fools Gold
- #31 Have your own money