Sports report

With the Super Bowl finally over, the football season has officially come to an end, and the really exciting part of the year has begun – the off-season. This year’s off-season promises to be among the most thrilling yet, with scads of the sport’s top players at the most important position, quarterback, becoming free agents or demanding trades. Not only that, but the surest thing in sure-thing history, the kid from Clemson — he’s pretty tall, has long hair, acts polite, remember that guy? — is coming out of college early to join the league. It’s all very exciting.

Will the Dallas Cowboys be able to re-sign their star quarterback, whose name escapes me at the moment? Only wildcat owner Pete “Lasso” Priscoe knows for sure, and the ol’ oilman ain’t giving any hints which way he’ll go. We’ll have to keep a sharp eye on the old cowboy to get any sense if he’ll win the off-season.

Meanwhile, down the road apiece in New Orleans, the Saints’ legendary quarterback, guaranteed first-ballot Hall of Famer, you know the dude, white guy, looks kind of normal, brown hair, balding — anyway, looks like he’s set to retire or something, so the coast is clear for General Manager Sonny “Just a Po’ Boy” Boudreaux to make some major moves. No getting around it, though – the cap’s got Sonny hogtied to some degree, so it’s going to take some dandy maneuvers for him to be able to sign the players he’s going to need to stay in the hunt for the off-season title. We’ll have to keep a sharp eye on the Po’ Boy over at the Superdome.

And don’t sleep on New England.  The Patriots’ main man, Coach Billy “Grumpa” Bells, who calls all the shots in Beantown, should be on the lookout for a new signal caller. The one he had, the one from Carolina who replaced the one guy who went down to Tamp Bay, he’s probably gone, so Grumpa will no doubt make some major offers this off-season. He might even trade a player or two, which would really show the skills you need to make it in the NFL these days. Best to keep a sharp eye out on ol’ Grumpa.

So good luck to all these major players.  Professional athletics requires not only the highest negotiating and contract drafting skills, but also the cold-hearted business sense to trade away or cut a popular player when the off-season hangs in the balance. We can only marvel as we watch these wizards go to work. Go team!

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