Screams of whiskey

We constantly hear how we need to get the money out of politics. Everyone knows money corrupts, so getting the money out of politics? By all means.

But while we’re at it, can we get the celebrity out of life?

It’s bad enough we have these often undereducated but very, very rich actors, actresses, musicians and athletes use their precious award-show or post-game camera time sputtering some banal but “important” political point, instead of doing what they’re good at: entertaining us with a droll or witty story (well, at least the actors, actresses and musicians; I’m still not quite clear on what the post-game athlete interview offers).

The actors, actresses, musicians and athletes say they speak out because they can “change” things. They might be right, and that’s a poor reflection on the voters or anyone else who lets celebrity opinions affect their own. But the celebrities use their fame as the currency to get themselves on the air in the first place, so they can spout their opinions. Why this is more acceptable than a successful businessman using his money to buy airtime to spout his opinions is a mystery to me.

The problem is, more and more, celebrity culture is like some bamboo tree with a root system tossing up new shoots all over the field. The similarities between show business and politics left one hoping it was a natural grafting of two branches of the same species, both favoring a mulch heavy in narcissism and vapidity, and that the damage would be limited.

But it is not so.

Jamie Foxx is buying a flavored whiskey company.

Weird, I thought whiskey already had a flavor, called “whiskey.”

The only value Jamie Foxx brings to whiskey is his money and celebrity. He’s not even getting into whiskey because he loves flavored whiskey. As he admits in the trade publication, the Hollywood Reporter, he’s getting into it because he saw it was a popular drink at the parties he threw. Other people liked it. He saw an investment opportunity.

As the Hollywood Reporter also notes, Foxx follows in the footsteps of actor Ryan Reynolds and Aviation vodka, and actor Dwayne Johnson and Teremana Tequila. And, in Foxx’s dream of dreams, in the footsteps of actor George Clooney, who sold his tequila company, Casamigos, for $1 billion.

Now, none of those actors know anything about making a worthy liquor. They’re just rich dudes with too much money sitting around, and people will buy their liquor and we’re going to have something called flavored whiskey everywhere now. Well done, people.

I mean, if you’re going to buy a celebrity whiskey, at least make it a proper Irish whiskey.

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