Pigs and Apples Why the Culture wars Matter

Fonzie: I only got one thing to say to you shortcakes…you put out an advertisement, somebody is going to answer that ad.

Happy Days Joanie’s Weird Boyfriend 1977

If she’s good enough to sleep with, she’s good enough to marry.

Dominic James Ingemi 1921-1987

One of the funniest and most enjoyable comic books ever written was Groo the Wanderer the story of an interment warrior with great skill at sword and no skill at brains . The comic was written by Mark Evanier and drawn by Sergio Aragones best known for his decades at Mad Magazine.

There were many spectacular stories in the various series but my favorite was #9 of the Marvel Series Pigs and Apples.

To summarize Groo wanders into a town filled with both starving people and Apple Trees full of fruit. When he tries to pick apples to eat he is told the apples are sacred and to eat them is to risk the wrath of the Gods.

Groo leaves and ventures to the next town where there are huge herds of Pigs but again the people are all starving. When the townspeople tell him that Pigs he is gobsmacked and only the threat of public execution stops him.

Eventually thanks to a hint by the Sage Groo gets the idea to turn one village against the other. One town sacks the others “sacred pigs” while the other raids the “sacred apples” and both towns people eat hearty and happy…

…until they discover that both the pigs and the apples were poisonous and the people who eat them become wretchedly sick (with Groo who ate both getting the worst of it).

The lesson is that the standard cultural and moral norms are not a coincidence, they have developed over centuries and millennia one might even say they evolved.  They exist and function because they work.

Culture is the basic building block on which society is built, if you have a strong culture your society is strong, if you have a weak or decadent culture it is weak and easily overcome.

The United States once had a strong culture.  Families were strong, divorce was the exception rather than the norm, Drug use was low, Teenage suicide was almost unheard, both fatherhood and motherhood were celebrated, adoption was encouraged  and the sexual exploitation of woman and children would get you beaten half to death, if you were lucky.

Nor was the US was not alone, Europe as a whole had the same culture and this culture produced marvels beyond description, marvels that revolutionized life for the entire world for a thousand years.

The source of this cultural strength and the social growth that came from it? Judeo-Christian values and the hands that tempered the rough edges of it, the principles of English Common law.

The concept of the equality of all men before God and the idea that the common people had rights that the elites could not override is one of the most earth shattering concepts the world has ever seen because it is totally contrary to the normal human condition, the exploitation and oppression of the weak by those who were stronger. It was the fertilizer that allowed the crop to grow

This didn’t of course mean these things ended, however slowly but surely the unchanging principles moved people toward them just as a farmer slowly but surely removes the weeds to allow the crop to grow.

Yet the foolish children of the 60 who grew into the idiot leaders of today were convinced they knew better. After all a bumper crop had grown for hundreds of years, if we changed the formula the plants would still grow.

So we’ve given them two generations where for half of the country teachers didn’t teach and children didn’t learn the values that made us strong and what did we get? a culture where a table full of modern feminists are shocked, SHOCKED that young women are just hooking up so easily in college

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Somehow all these educated professional women are totally confused by what they are seeing and most amusing of all the editor of Comso is among the concerned women.

two things struck me about the piece. one is the element of parenting. the parents of these girls. you know, what’s their role in this or their nonrole in this. the other, more dangerous i thought, is the element of license. the guy and the girl in the room with the dirty sheets. when he comes back the next day or the third day, no. no. forget no. license. i have a license now to do this because you gave me the license to do it. there’s a real danger there.

That anyone is surprised at this, that they think the biological and psychological drives are suddenly different for humans in the 21st century because we have iPhones and the pill is simply astoundingly ignorant.

And those standards have political costs as well as a campaigning Anthony Weiner discovered this weekend.

Yet if one suggested even for a moment, that perhaps the idea of risk free, responsibility free sex, the concept that the pleasures of the sexual relationships were designed for and are best expressed for marriage and children the table would be absolutely united in rejecting that premise as alien, foreign and ridiculous.

They would be as stubborn as the cabinet in Idiocracy resisting the idea that the dustbowl and failed crops might be due to the decision to give the plants Brawndo rather than water.

Eventually the differing birth rates and the success of the location where traditional culture is thriving vs the places where it is not will correct things, but not before generations pass and plenty more people have to suffer for the arrogance of the 60’s generation who like many in their youth’s thought they were wiser than their fathers but unlike every generation before them didn’t grow out of it even in their old age.

It remains in my opinion one of the most extraordinary abnormalities in the history of humanity.


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